


The faults in our fists

by cookie_book_took



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: AU, Beating, Blood, Blow Jobs, Dark, Drugs, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt/Comfort, Jealous Steve, Kissing, M/M, Misunderstandings, OMC death, Pining, Protective Bucky Barnes, Sex, Violence, alternative universe, barista Bucky, doctor steve, fighter bucky, geeky steve, threat
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-27
Updated: 2016-04-10
Packaged: 2018-05-29 10:17:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 10
Words: 38,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6370951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookie_book_took/pseuds/cookie_book_took
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love struck doctor Rogers falls blunderingly inlove with Barista James, sounds romantic, sweet. Throw in bare-knuckle boxing, a morally obliged Steve and the arsehole that is Pierce. Suddenly things are a lot more complicated....<br/>__________________________Warning_____________________________________<br/>This fic will get dark, but it will be alright in the end...<br/>Triggers- drug overdose, beatings, blood, suspense.<br/>This didn't go the direction I'd originally planned.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> AU Bucky/Steve  
> Unbeta'd so bound to be typo's.  
> Dorky Steve ;)

He’s not addicted to coffee, in fact some mornings he buys it and ditches it ten feet from the shop. The place he visits isn’t exactly out of the way, but it does add an extra fifteen minutes to the start and end of his day...There’s other coffee shops, far more convenient ones, there’s one down the street from his apartment, there’s one at the hospital where he works, it’s even the same brand of coffee shop, but it’s just not enough.

Steve knows coffee tastes ten times sweeter when its accompanied with sly smiles and crinkling blue eyes.  
The barista serving makes his stomach flip, makes him trip over his words and shift on his feet. Each day he tries not to make an arse out of himself, each day he fails miserable and darts from the shop. It’s a good job he’s a doctor, it’s a reason to leave in such a hurry with no explanation, patients need him and all that...

The man serving is called James, he’s never asked, but the badge is pinned on his shirt. He’s never called him by it, he hasn’t called him anything. Their greetings are brief. James says hello with a quirky grin and Steve reply’s like an over- excited puppy, speaking nonsense and bolting from the place before James can respond.  
It was probably because James was the hottest guy he’d ever seen, ruffled brown hair, huge blue eyes framed by black lashes and a body of marble that pushed on his shirt, highlighting the mass of muscle beneath.  
Then there was his mouth, plump pink lips he nipped at while making the coffees. He chewed his plump bottom one while humming out tunes, he moistened them with a darting tongue. Steve couldn’t help but be fascinated, he watched with a look of pure wanting.  
He kept going to the shop, always hoping it would be the day he breaks the uncomfortable longing.  
____________________________________________________________________________

“Your usual, doc?”  
“Steve, my names Steve.”  
James smiled brightly, it was the first time he had given his name, his first name anyway. DR ROGERS was in bold on his badge.  
“Ok, Steve...your usual?”  
The wave of joy that flowed through his body at the sound of his own name was unnatural. James knew his name, the vibrations that created it had come through the plumped perfect lips.

Steve managed to nod for the coffee, he didn’t manage to bring his eyes up to James though.  
In his haste to retrieve his debit card he dislodged a condom. It slapped down on the counter, Steve glared at it, James glared at it.  
It felt like the whole world had frozen, sound fizzled to silence as he stared down mortified. He was a grown man, why was he blushing over a god damn condom.  
“Extra large, hey” James smirked.  
“It’s-um..It’s not mine.”  
It was possibly the oddest thing he had ever said, denying the possession of a condom that fell from his wallet...the floor needed to swallow him, it must’ve been a bad dream, he glanced down at himself, making sure it wasn’t one of those naked in public dreams.  
It wasn’t, and glancing towards his crotch while dismissing an extra large condom didn’t do him any favours.  
“You alright there, doc-Steve?”  
“Yep um, just remembered something...”  
He was backing away, eyes to the floor. This was his grand escape plan, act as if he just remembered something vital, the stove on maybe? Or he left his car unlocked.  
He patted his jacket frantically, ‘keys’ he mouthed.  
He was almost to the door, fresh air just behind him to cool his burning face.  
“Hey doc, Coffee, Card and Condom.”  
Every customers eyes snapped to attention, focusing in on the odd exchange, James held all three object in his hands, coaxing Steve over.  
He strolled as casually as he could manage with an audience watching curiously.  
“Thanks” he croaked.  
James smirked in reply, raising his eyebrow as he place the condom in his palm. Steve was a doctor, he took pressured situations in his stride, but he couldn’t handle the embarrassment of dropping a condom.  
___________________________________________________________________________

It was a few days before Steve got the courage to go back, the condom incident was still fresh in his mind but James didn’t mention it, he grinned his familiar smile, blue eyes crinkling with greeting.  
“Usual Steve?”  
He nodded eagerly in reply, slotting his card into the machine with shaky hands. The condom had moved locations, it was shoved in his glove compartment in the car, he wasn’t even sure why he brought it with him, there was only one person he wanted to be like that with, and so far he couldn’t string out a conversation beyond ‘hi-got to go’.  
“Make sure you’re not working too hard.”  
“What?”  
Steve’s eyes followed James down to his scrubs, a orange stain glowed against the white. He recoiled sharply from the counter, cringing at the grubbiness of his scrubs.  
It was the end of a long day, last patient an overactive child who drank far too much orange juice while waiting. The thermometer went in his mouth, a plume of orange liquid came out.  
He shook the memory away, backing up from the counter, he didn’t bolt though, he sunk into a booth with a sigh. He was tiring of feeling so utterly stupid in the presence of James, death from embarrassment wasn’t medically recognised, Steve was going to be the one and only case.  
It was ridiculous really, when he fantasised about James he was always the one in control. He imagined the panting, the beg and pleading James voice would do. He thought about running his hands through the brown strands, tugging to hear more gasps from his lips. Lips, he wanted to see James’ teeth savage them close up, pressing hard in an attempt to ground him, to keep him going longer. Steve wanted to push him over, wipe the cocky smirk off his face, to kiss, touch and lick as much as he could.  
He couldn’t even hold a conversation, the fantasy of dominating James was just that, a fantasy.  
“Your drink.”  
Steve startled in his seat, coughing awkwardly, he was half hard under the table, fantasising in the coffee shop was an absolute no go and yet his mind had.  
“Um, thanks James”  
His voice escaped as an almost whine, James stooped forward, pressing his palm to Steve’s head.  
“Checking your not feverish.”  
“I’m a doctor, Id know if I was sick.” Steve snorted.  
It was more cringe worthy than the condom incident, Steve had actually snorted, his face had made a sound that belonged on a farm yard.  
James chuckled lightly, wrinkling his nose in amusement.  
Steve needed to hide, he brought the cup up fast, taking a sip of the near boiling coffee. He had just needed to move, to distract his body from the growing blushes. The coffee stung like a bitch, he did his best to style the pain out, he hummed in satisfaction.  
“I just made that” James breathed.  
“Yup, it’s good.”  
The blue eyes looking down at him tightened, “not what I meant, its hot, like burning hot.”  
Steve gave the mug a look of disbelief, “is it?”  
James head bobbed up and down slowly. His hand stretched out again, not pressing against his forehead, but cupping his cheek and tilting his face up.  
“You need to look after yourself doc.”  
“Mmmm fine.”  
“The amount of coffee you need, twice a day, itis not good for you, caffeine and all that, you’re too important to get sick.”  
He was still holding Steve’s cheek, warmth fed into the skin, it was temping to turn, press a kiss into the palm, but that was beyond creepy.  
“You’re important too” Steve said finally.  
The blue eyes sparkled, creasing at the corners, “anyone can make coffee.”  
“Not like yours.”  
“Yes because everyone enjoys burning the shit outta their mouth.”  
Steve was going to reply, he wasn’t sure what but he was confident he would’ve come up with something. All words died with a swipe of James thumb, it stroked across Steve’s cheek, catching on the corner of his lip. Steve didn’t dare breathe, the intensity of James’ eyes had him frozen. He was focused on Steve’s lips, seemingly transfixed by them, his thumb hadn’t moved, just continued to press at the corner, testing the plumpness-  
“Oi Jerk”  
James straightened, twirling on the spot to face the loud mouth red head.  
“Yeah, I’m coming.”  
Steve tried very hard to breathe normally, to not smile like a love stuck puppy. James had shown him a slither of interest, all his awkwardness and goofiness and James had still shown a spark of...something.  
__________________________________________________________________________  
XXX  
Steve couldn’t understand why he behaved like such a love struck idiot in the vicinity of James. He wasn’t socially awkward, his job required brilliant people skills. The amount of crude things and odd scenario’s he had witnessed, he had just dealt with it with no embarrassment or further thought.  
But with James, he gets flustered, he gets inappropriately turned on and acts like an idiot.  
He talks to hundreds of people on a daily basis and all without setting fire to his tongue or morphing into a tomato.  
“So you going to tell me about her?”  
Steve looked up at Sam, taking the outstretched cup of water being offered. They were both on break, lunch break to be exact, but Steve really didn’t fancy eating after just popping a cist on a patient.  
“Nothing to tell” Steve grumbled.  
Sam dropped down on the bench beside him, leaning in as he spoke.  
“Come on, Is it Trace? Or Monika? She’s always giving you the eye.”  
Steve laughed lightly, shaking his head at Sam’s guesses, if it was Trace or Monika there wouldn’t of been a problem, he could actually speak to them and be around them without wanting to fall into a heap on the floor.  
“Not Trace. Not Monika. No one from the hospital.”  
Sam’s hand slapped down on his shoulder, “ah ha, so there is someone, come on tell me about her?”  
As if on cue an image of James flashed in his mind, him leaning over the counter, his arms bulging as stooped to hear the order of an elderly women. He had given her such a warm genuine smile, like in that moment she was the most important person in James’ world.  
“Steve...your grinning to yourself and it’s freaking me the fuck out.”  
Steve groaned, gripping his head in his hands.  
“Oh come on Steve. You’re a catch, six-foot of muscle, blond hair and blue eyes. Every girls dream...and you’re a flaming doctor, just go for it.”  
“Sam stop.” He groaned to his palms.  
“Nah, I’m serious Steve, you should hear Trace and Monika, arguing over the rota both dying to be on your shift.”  
Steve rolled his shoulders, straightening in his chair, he eyed Sam seriously, taking in his chuckling form.  
“So you think I should just got for it?”  
Sam knocked into his shoulder, hitting him off balance. “Yes, that it exactly what you should do. We see life and death everyday. Don’t wait forever ‘cause forever might not come.”  
____________________________________________________________________________  
The next morning he was determined to ask James...ask him something...?  
He watched through the glass, out of James’ eye line, it was early morning, he breathed deep, pushing through the door with focus.  
James smiled, and the focus was lost, his lips mimicked James’.  
“Usual?”  
Steve nodded, staring in silence at James back as he prepared the drink. His shirt was rolled up to the elbows, the slight movements of working the machine made his muscular shoulders show through. He swallowed the pool of saliva in his mouth, fumbling with his wallet.  
He paid and made a quick exit with James eyes following him.  
Steve dumped the coffee round the corner, growling at the sky.  
He would do it after shift instead.  
The day took a dark turn, by the time he slumped into his claimed booth he forgot all about asking James out.  
Not even the man with the soppy eyes and the smoking hot body could pull him from these self-loathing days.  
“Hey?”  
Steve blinked several times before glancing up at James, his face was in shadow...the whole place was in shadow. The smallest amount of light shone from behind the counter.  
Everyone had left, James stood in front with keys jangling in his fingers.  
“Shit James, I’m sorry.”  
His scurrying was stopped by two firm hands, they pressed down on his shoulders, keeping him in place.  
“Sit” he gestured to the untouched coffee, “I’ll make you another.”  
Steve’s hands tightened round the cup when James tried to retrieve it.  
“It’s fine like this.”  
“You going to drink it?”  
Steve didn’t reply, he just gazed at the dark liquid, not even a sip had passed through his lips.  
“I’m half offended, thought you loved my coffee.”  
Steve tried to force his lips into a smile, but it presented itself as a grimace.  
“Steve?”  
Another day Steve’s stomach would’ve flipped at James saying his name, especially with it laced with genuine concern.  
“Steve....spill.”  
One last sneering glance at the coffee and he focused on the concerned brunette.  
“Lost a patient today.”  
James whistled in a breath, “by lost, you don’t mean they walked off in the hospital...”  
No, by lost he meant he had tried to stop a woman bleeding out with his bare hands, tried to clamp an artery while his team watched on with panicked eyes.  
“No, you know exactly what I mean by lost a patient” he snapped.  
James shuffled in his seat, fixing his eyes to the table, Steve continued to glare at him until a wave of guilt washed over him.  
“Did you know them?”  
Steve scrunched his face at the question, he was a doctor, it wasn’t his job know people, it was his job to save them.  
“I knew her for the three minutes she took to bleed out in my arms.”  
James swallowed, still not pulling his eyes off the table, he nodded slightly.  
“You care this much about someone you didn’t know?”  
Steve replied with a savage laugh, smacking his palm to the table.  
“Yes, James I do. I’m a doctor, comes with the territory.”  
“You can’t save everyone-”  
“But I should, I should save everyone.”  
James shook his head, “that’s crazy talk Steve, even heroes fail some of the time. You did everything you could for this girl right?”  
“Of course I did.”  
James pulled a strained smile at the biting tone but continued, “You gave her your best-“  
“It wasn’t enough.”  
James wasn’t a doctor, he worked in a coffee shop, he had no influence over life and death, he couldn’t possibly understand the feeling of failure.  
“Sometimes, when your times up, it’s up. Nothing anyone can do-”  
“Mistaken identity, shot in the neck on the way back from work, split her carotid artery in two. But yeah James, when your times up I guess its bloody up!”  
He swiped out with his hand, smacking the full coffee cup off the table. It smashed, glinting shards of ceramics reflected the faint glow of light. He didn’t even feel guilty, it had released a building pressure of desperation.  
He held his head in his hands, breathing shaky breaths while he listened to James’ movements. The open and closing of doors, the scrape of the mug being collected, running water...he didn’t know how long he sat there, but eventual reality caught up with him and he gasped into awareness.  
“Jesus, I’m sorry James.”  
He stumbled his way over, attempting to take the mop. Every pull by Steve was matched by James.  
“Seriously Steve its fine.”  
“I shouldn’t of lashed out like that.”  
James breathed out a long breath, “you needed to, but Steve, you can’t punish yourself like this-”  
Steve turned away, dismissing the words tumbling from James mouth. He would punish himself, be consumed by the guilt of her death till he cried himself to sleep.  
His shoulder was captured in a solid grip, “You’re too good Steve, and there are bad people too, people that don’t deserve to lick the mud of your boots or the sick of your scrubs.”  
Steve turned to face the shadow of James, the hand on his shoulder shifted along, cupping the back of his neck. The fingers stroked the base of his hair line, sending a shot of electricity down his spine.  
They were so close, two harshly breathing shadows leaning towards each other. Their noses bumped with desperate breaths...  
James hand dropped, he backed up a step. “You’re too good of a guy.”  
Steve frowned with confusion, rubbing the nape of his neck where fingers had just been touching.  
Steve bolted from the shop, not turning back to the shouts of his name.  
XXX  
They didn’t mention that night, but something had changed between them, there was a spark of something, not the passionate relationship Steve craved about but something close to friendship.  
A few nights a week he stayed till after closing, James settled in the chair opposite, sometimes with a cup of coffee, sometimes with a glass or two of bourbon.  
He eagerly asked about Steve’s day, he laughed at Steve’s funny cases, he cringed at the story’s of infections and puss. James could read the really terrible days from Steve’s face.  
Steve hated the biting way he spoke to James on those days, guilt was slow to surface but when it did he dropped his head on the table and apologised.  
James eyed him warily before taking his hand and tugging.  
“Come with me, I know something that might help.”  
Steve got up, dragging his feet as he followed James through a back door.  
It looked like a staff room, but in the centre hung a punch bag.  
James gripped it, coaxing Steve towards it.  
“What?”  
“Just hit the bloody bag Steve.”  
Steve shifted on his feet, before focusing all his anger and frustration on the red bag. He punched, punched again, punched until his arms aches and the tears had dried up.  
James’ eyes developed a darker shade, his eyes tracked Steve’s face, lingering on his lips, his neck. Steve was too terrified to bring attention to it, just incase he was wrong. He didn’t want to risk destroying their friendship for desire he might’ve been imagining, but he defiantly didn’t look at anyone else that way.  
____________________________________________________________________________

 

Steve had been studying James, not the normal I need to have studying, but he was watching him through doctors eyes.  
His hands had been shaking, trembling non stop.  
He noticed as soon as he came in but didn’t want to draw attention to it.  
When James waved off the last customer Steve jumped up, gripping his wrists.  
“Your hands?”  
“Not my best feature but I’m glad you like something.”  
Steve shook his head at the diversion.  
“No-”  
“No you don’t like anything? Well that’s a way to hurt my feelings.”  
Steve glared at James till the bravado melted away.  
“Will be fine in a few days.”  
“They’re badly bruised.”  
Steve curled each finger up, forcing a hiss and wince from James. It shouldn’t of been arousing, but James' lips parting for a gasp was close to the fantasy in Steve’s head.  
“You hit....someone?”  
James seemed at war with himself, his brow wrinkled before he finally spoke.  
“Someone that was trying to hit me.”  
Steve dropped the hands, stewing over the answer in his head.  
James jangled the keys, flicking his head at the door, he wanted Steve to go and fast, no late night chat that night.  
___________________________________________________________________________

The bruised skin healed, Steve didn’t question it and they fell back into their normal routine. Steve chatted, James listened with interest. Any questions directed at James were rebuffed but Steve was too contempt to care. Eventually James would open up and expose some of himself, he just wasn’t ready and Steve wasn’t going to force him.  
“So what’s your weirdest story?”  
A blush crept up Steve’s neck, “Um what you mean?”  
Nothing was weirder than spending months salivating over a barista...  
“Like patient, what’s the oddest...situation?”  
Steve chuckled, “Oh um...one guy tripped over naked and landed on an action figure, if you know what I mean.”  
James’ eyes widened comically and he laughed out a breath.  
“What was it-let me guess a Barbie?”  
Steve shook his head with a giggle, “think it was a Captain America.”  
“Oh god”  
Steve smirked, “wasn’t so red, white and blue after that.”  
James leaned back as he howled a laugh, Steve’s chuckle halted at the sight of James neck, pale, unmarked skin, he fantasised about marking it, nipping at it, bruising it.  
“Have you seen him since?”  
“Hmm? Oh, not at the hospital-”  
“But you’ve seen him around?”  
Steve nodded, the man had crossed the road to pass him but it had defiantly been him.  
“Wait, this isn’t one of these ‘I knew a guy’ story’s...it wasn’t actually you?”  
Steve screwed his face up in disgust, “I’m not that type of guy at all, complete no go area.”  
James joyous face dropped, “not that kinda guy...”  
Steve pictured the x-ray of the patient, the figure hand gone in superman pose, James even joking he would do something so revolting had him shaking his head and shivering at the thought.  
James face had blanked, not hint of emotion showed. He stood, squeezing the bridge of his nose.  
“James?”  
There was a glint of something, almost like hurt, a sudden sadness was lurking in his face, it had Steve swaying on his feet with rounded eyes.  
“Think you should go.”  
Steve walked slowly, trying to catch James' eyes, “right, yeah”.  
The door was closed on his face as he gaped for something to say.  
He watched through the window as James poured a glass of bourbon and drank it alone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bucky flexed his jaw from left to right, “it’s a guy that comes here.”  
> Nat nodded like he had said the most obvious thing in the world, “tell me about him.”  
> “There’s no point Nat, he’s far too good for someone like me.”  
> She surged forward capturing his clenched up fist, “I’ll be the judge of that.”  
> “He’s...He’s tall, looks like he could lift a pick-up one handed. Blond, blue eyed, a doctor and just absolutely beautiful...”  
> He groaned at his own words, since when had he turned into such a sap.  
> Nat blew a breath through her teeth, “yeah, outta your league.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU Steve/Bucky  
> Unbeta'd so bound to be typo's  
> little bit evil to poor Bucky here, but its his fault for looking so god damn sweet when he's hurting.  
> ;)

“You wanna tell me about it?”  
Bucky stared at the redhead with unblinking eyes, his face was schooled into a mask of utter emotionless.  
“No Nat, I don’t.”  
This was his lunch break and all he wanted to do was sulk at the end of the shop, he didn’t even have the energy to swing for the bag in the back.  
“Is it Peirce? Has he got you another fight set?”  
“Nope, no fight, no word from Pierce.”  
He wasn’t sure whether that was a good thing or not, Peirce was scouting a worthy opponent for his next fight, apparently knocking a guy out in the first round wasn’t entertaining enough for the bloodthirsty audience.  
“Come on, tell me. Last week you were skipping around.”  
The comment earned her a sneer, “I do not skip.”  
She waved it off, trying to get the conversation rolling, “yeah you were, been like it for weeks, one day happy, next miserable. So just do us both a favour and talk to me.”  
Bucky flexed his jaw from left to right, “it’s a guy that comes here.”  
Nat nodded like he had said the most obvious thing in the world, “tell me about him.”  
“There’s no point Nat, he’s far too good for someone like me.”  
She surged forward capturing his clenched up fist, “I’ll be the judge of that.”  
“He’s...He’s tall, looks like he could lift a pick-up one handed. Blond, blue eyed, a doctor and just absolutely beautiful...”  
He groaned at his own words, since when had he turned into such a sap.  
Nat blew a breath through her teeth, “yeah, outta your league.”  
He sunk down further in his seat, halfway to raising his hands to his face when she grasped them both.  
“I always root for the underdog.”  
He peered at her through sad eyes, “haven’t told you the worst part...he’s not interested in men.”  
Her lips popped open in an OH.  
“He actually told you that?”  
“Well he made it clear, he’s not into---he thinks its...”  
Nat’s eyes narrowed to slits, “wow, like to elaborate so I know what the hell you’re talking about?”  
There was no way he was repeating that conversation to Nat, she was sure to be disgusted and slap him for asking Steve such a crude question in the first place.  
“When’s he next in?”  
“Eight”  
Nat frowned, “eight tomorrow morning?”  
Bucky shook his head, “eight tonight, seven in the morning.”  
Her eyes widened and she laughed down at the table.  
“What?”  
“Tell you what, give me a week. A week to watch and I’ll be able to tell you if he’s interested.”  
___________________________________________________________________________  
It seemed like the worlds most ridiculous idea but he went with it, Nat had a knack for reading people. Each night she sat at the end booth before Steve arrived, giving Bucky a smirking glance.  
Steve walked in, a shy smile on his lips. Bucky cursed his nervousness, he was responsible for it after shutting him out the previous week.  
“Usual Steve?”  
He wasn’t even sure why he bothered asking, it was always the same order day and night.  
Bucky watched as he made his way to his booth, sinking down with a sigh.  
That was it, the only interaction they had that night. Steve left at closing and Nat appeared from her hiding place in the toilets.  
“See, not interested...”  
She grinned at him, flicking her hair as she passed by.  
“Same time tomorrow.”  
He didn’t reply, he plodded into the back room with the aim of smashing the punching bag, instead he draped his arms around it, resting his cheek on the cool material with a huff.  
____________________________________________________________________________

The week passed, Nat kept her silent vigil at the back of the shop, some days she came in disguise, a blond wavy wig with her boobs leaking out of her top was a memorable one.  
Bucky had mouthed ‘what the fuck’ across the room at her. That had been an odd day, she had even stooped low to pick something off the floor in front of Steve. Bucky had been blushing pink for her. Steve had scrambled up, searching the floor for her invisible money, from what Bucky could tell he didn't pay too much attention to the breasts on display. Surely that was a good sign...  
_____________________________________________________________________________

Thursday Steve made no indication he was going to leave at closing, his coffee was half full, probably stone cold but he playfully batted Bucky’s hand when he tried to take it.  
Nat hovered outside, just behind Steve’s head, she moved right up to the glass, blowing kisses at Steve and arranging her hands in a heart shape. Bucky was sweating, if Steve just turned his head he’d catch her, and then what the hell was he going to say, she’s a crazy women that hangs around the shop...  
Bucky made an excuse to use the toilet, moving past Steve and flicking the bird at Nat’s gloating face.  
He returned, settling down opposite, placing his glass and whiskey bottle on the table with a clomp.  
“Busy day” he stated, it was far to easy to read the days from Steve’s body.  
“That obvious?”  
Bucky poured himself a generous serving of whiskey  
“Was a bit with you dozing and all” Bucky pointed at his own mouth, “you got a bit of dribble...”  
Steve squirmed, wiping his mouth on his sleeve, “you kidding right?”.  
Bucky pressed his lips together hard, humming till a laugh broke out.  
“You’re a jerk.”  
Bucky could only howl in reply, even in the dim light he could tell Steve was blushing.  
“Sorry, sorry, you do look rough though.”  
He yelped at the kick to his calf, sloshing whiskey over the table.  
“And you look a mess” Steve pouted back.  
“Ah man, that’s good whiskey.”  
It had run along his arm, sticking to his fair hairs. He drew his arm up, licking a trail from elbow to wrist.  
“Wanna try Steve?”  
He purred it at the blonde, smiling at the squirming man, Steve made a motion to come forward before pulling back fast. He was putting his walls back up, any minute and he would find an excuse to leave... Like seriously, how many times could a man pat himself down and claim he’d forgot his keys.  
“From the bottle, I meant, you want a glass?”  
Steve relaxed immediately, shaking his head, “not a big drinker.”  
I guess that spoke volumes about Bucky.  
“Just coffee then, you’re addicted to coffee.”  
Bucky couldn’t help but grin at Steve’s nod, he knew he could make a bloody good coffee.  
“So...you, um- seeing anyone?” Steve had pretty much breathed the words out together.  
The blond was squirming again, and god he looked adorable when he was uncomfortable. It was brave territory, after the whole condom incident Bucky had been half convinced he was a virgin, but realistically there was just no way Steve hadn’t had any.  
“Seeing? I’m looking at you right now...”  
It was a little evil, but Bucky couldn’t help but love when Steve ducked his head and changed colour.  
“Anyone special in your life?” He tried again mumbling down to his coffee  
Sometimes it seemed like Steve had just walked out of a 50’s movie.  
“No, no one like that.”  
Steve wobbled his head, mouth flapping at air. Bucky tilted on his elbows, the bottom of his spine ached with anticipation. Who needs Nat when Steve’s ready to show his hand.  
“I’m-a..I’m thinking of going to see that new marvel film.”  
Bucky’s heart was literally close to exploding. Was this the moment, the moment they would look back on and laugh at, Bucky was ready to pounce, his legs were straining under the table, Steve was kind of suggesting a date-  
-“With some friends.”  
Well that bit of joy shrivelled up and died rather fast.  
“Yeah, I’ve heard people saying it’s good...”  
Steve’s forehead wrinkled up, “really? It’s not even out yet.”  
It wasn’t often that Bucky got flustered, but Steve watching him with genuine wonder while he struggled to come up with bullshit had him muttering and shifting.  
“Critic’s...I’ve read some of the reviews.”  
“Movie buff then.”  
That couldn’t be further from the truth, the last film he had been to see was the little mermaid with Nat and her mum, he was sure Ariel was the reason she favoured the red hair.  
“Well it’s getting late...”  
It wasn’t a subtle suggestion to leave that was for sure, he returned his precious alcohol to its hiding place, tugging the handle on the door for Steve to exit. He had just crashed from the biggest emotional high of his life. It was wise to hear feedback from Nat before humiliating himself further.  
Steve hovered in the door frame, focused intently on Bucky’s jaw, his lips, he was rocking slightly on his heels, for a heart stopping moment Bucky thought he was going to lean in for a kiss. He wetted his own just in case.  
Steve did lean closer, swooping in for a ...hug. The most awkward manly hug in the history of awkward hugs. If Bucky hadn’t of been so stunned he would’ve laughed, no idea what to do in return, he patted Steve’s back.  
“Take it easy man.”  
Well that was the dumbest thing he’d ever said...  
Steve speed walked away, leaving Bucky to fret over his embarrassing response to physical contact.  
________________________________________________________________________  
Steve still came in the next morning, and returned the next night. Bucky was vibrating with anxiety. Nat hadn’t given him any positive feedback, she chuckled and winked but gave him no solid sign Steve was interested and all the signals coming from Steve were confusing.  
He settled down in the seat opposite Steve with a sly grin, glass of bourbon in his hand when there was a loud smacking on the glass door.  
He turned to see a random woman waving him over.  
“Um one sec” he said to Steve.  
He opened the door a fraction, with wide, pissed off eyes. The woman flicked her jet black hair, wrapping her white fur coat around chest.  
“Go with it” she hissed.  
Not Cruella de vil then, but Nat in disguise. She leaned in, running her hands up his chest, hooking at the back of his neck.  
“What you doing?” he whispered.  
She chuckled in reply, combing her fingers through his hair. Bucky had no idea what to do, he stood as stiff as a board as she continued to stroke the back of his head.  
“Please James” she purred.  
He just glared at her like she had sprouted another head. He felt the pressure on the back of his skull, yanking him closer. He was resisting, all too aware Steve was sat only meters away.  
“Give me something to work with.” She growled out.  
He allowed the hands on his head to pull him in, close enough to cough at Nat’s perfume.  
“Put your arms round me or I’ll smack you where it hurts.”  
When it was put as bluntly as that, he was quick to respond, wrapping his arms around her waist.  
“Just say later” she whispered.  
“What?” He mouthed back, so close to her face she had two noses.  
Her eyes scrunched, and she pressed her lips in a hard line, conveying every ounce of annoyance she possessed.  
“Later” He blurted, he wasn’t risking a hit in the balls.  
She groaned, nodding with a pout before turning and leaving.  
He barely had time to process what had just happened before Steve was steamrolling past him.  
“Hey”  
He tried to grab his arm but was thrown off. Bucky was fixed in the door way in utter shock as Steve stormed away without a backwards glance. What the bloody hell had just happened? He watched until Steve dissapeared from view, half tempted to gallop after him.  
The mistress of doom appeared from the darkness.  
“What the hell was that?”  
She ripped the black clean off, ruffling her hair with a smirk.  
“Public displays of affection make people uncomfortable.”  
“Too right they do, I feel pretty damn ridiculous.”  
“I didn’t mean for you, I needed him to leave.”  
She tried to squeeze past but Bucky blocked her in her tracks.  
“Why not just ask to speak to me, why do that?”  
She shrugged, stroking the wig affectionately, “haven’t worn this for a while. Anyway, you ready for the verdict on Mr beautiful?”  
“I doubt I have a chance in hell with him now.”  
“Aww Bucky, you’re making me well up.”  
He creaked the door in threat, he could still easily shut her out in the cold.  
“You have nothing to worry about, that guy can’t stay away”.  
He opened the door wide so she could duck under his arm. They retreated into the shop, Nat settled in Steve’s warmed groove while Bucky stared daggers down at her.  
“So, I don’t think he’s gay...”  
His shoulders slumped, it only confirmed what he knew, but it still stung like hell to hear.  
“A few hot guys have been in, doesn’t even spare them a look” she explained.  
“Fucking great.”  
Nat hummed in agreement, “...also a few pretty girls walked in, me included.”  
Bucky flexed his hands, he was tempted to bring them up to cover his ears. He didn’t want to hear the type of women Steve liked, whether curvy, skinny, blond, petit-oh my god even worse if he liked Nat-  
“He wasn’t interested in them either.”  
“What?”  
Nat’s lips pulled up in to an enormous smile, “he’s got it very bad for you.”  
“What? Howjaknow- How do you know?”  
“He watches you, eyes you up at any opportunity. He touches his lips when you bite yours, he smiles at your god awful humming-”  
“But that could be friendly, like as a buddy-”  
“He flushes and squirms every time you almost catch him looking. You’re late night little chats, very sweet by the way..., afterwards he leans up against the wall around the corner panting and growling at himself.”  
So many times he had thought about following after Steve, if only he had they might have sorted stuff out ages ago round the corner. He had to push that image of Steve pinned against the wall away for later...  
“Cut to the chase, you think he likes me?”  
Nat lurched forward dropping her head in her hands with a hopeless laugh, “he’s not here for the coffee put it that way.”  
“He loves my coffee.”  
Nat shook her head with another giggle, “he bins it in the morning.”  
Bucky couldn’t help his jaw from falling slack, stunned, and a little humiliated at the thought of Steve chucking his precious coffee.  
“He doesn’t love coffee Bucky, he loves something else in this shop.”  
His face glowed hot enough to fry and egg, but genuine happiness radiated through his veins. Steve actually liked him the way he liked Steve.  
Nat jumped up, pinching his reddened cheek.  
“Aww little bucks got a crush.”  
He shoved her hand away with faked annoyance, “shut it.”  
_________________________________________________________________________

He had to lash out at the punch bag during break, just to get a slither of control back. He was going to approach Steve, ask him out on a date at the end of the night. He had stupidly told Nat, and she had got herself a front-row seat, at least she hadn’t dressed like a villainous witch.  
He squeezed the back of his neck for the fifth time, growling at his waning attention. He had messed up several orders and found his eyes glued to the door rather than the customers.  
“I didn’t order this...”  
His head dropped forward, how had he messed up the same order twice, he snatched at the offending drink, a latte how Steve liked it, that man had infected his brain.  
Nat blew a kiss in his direction, laughing when he glared in reply.  
Steve rolled in at half past, the happy feeling dampened when he noticed Steve wasn’t alone.  
“James this is Sam, Sam, James.”  
Sam scanned his face, frowning at what he saw.  
“James is it?” he mumbled.  
Bucky pointed at his badge where his name was clearly printed in bold. Sam huffed one singular laugh and moved to a booth.  
“Um yeah, that’s Sam...Can I get two lattes, you know how I like mine.”  
Bucky got to work, a bit disappointed Steve wasn’t alone, but he was going to ask him out regardless, Nat was never wrong and if it was going to happen it wouldn’t matter if his friend was watching. He had a mission, his mission was to get Steve, damn everyone else, he was completing his mission.

It was the longest, most uncomfortable thirty minutes of his life and that was saying something.  
Steve’s friend...whose name Bucky had deleted upon hearing, had been staring intently at him. Even when Bucky looked up the glaring didn’t stop.  
Steve in his position was facing away, but Bucky could tell by the stiffness of his shoulders and the bow of his head he wasn’t happy.  
Then there was Nat, she picked at her lip, eyes darting in her head. Every glance in her direction she shot back concerned signals, Bucky actually preferred the badly concealed chuckling and smug smiles. Nat was worried, worried Nat usually meant disaster.  
It was eight fifteen, the only customers remaining were Steve and his friend, and Nat sat bolt upright at the back. He untied his apron, folding it with trembling hands, it felt like he was walking to his execution, not asking a man on a date.  
“Um everything alright?” He directed it at Steve.  
The other man snorted, “I know who you are.”  
Nat shifted in his peripheral, waving a hand for his attention. The hair on Bucky’s neck sprung up, the muscles in his arms contracted at the hostile tone.  
“You don’t know me.”  
The man released a bitter laugh, “they call you Bionic Bucky. You beat the crap out of people in your spare time. Illegal fights where only one man can walk away.”  
One look at Steve and any hatred towards his friend melted away. He was slouched in his seat, untouched coffee between his hands. His skin was pale, no red flush had crept in his cheeks at Bucky’s approach.  
“I don’t force people to fight.”  
It became apparent it was the wrong thing to say when Steve slipped down further in his chair.  
“Had to rebuild a few guys faces after a run in with you.” The man spat out.  
He shifted on his feet, trying to hide the shaking in his body. This was not at all how he hoped the night would end. He hadn’t mentioned the fighting to Steve, Nat told him it wasn’t worth risking it, he only had two fights left and then he was free, no point mentioning it to potential partners...  
“As I said, I don’t force them-”  
“Makes you feel better about smashing them up, Jesus Steve you really know how to pick ‘em.”  
“Watch what you say to me.”  
He couldn’t resist cracking his knuckles, the shaking had made them ache, and he only did it to release the pressure. Steve’s blue eyes shot up, fixing on Bucky’s hands, the source of perceived threat. Bucky swallowed hard at the sight of the blond man’s face, it looked broken, eyes splintered with red lines.  
“See Steve, just a thug.”  
There was quick movement at his side, Nat clip-clopped her way towards the commotion.  
“Take that back.”  
She radiated fury, Bucky would’ve been terrified had they not been best friends, she had the appearance of a tiger but was a kitten on the inside.  
“James is no such thing.”  
“Bucky is though, arm like iron. One guy you hit so hard you half blinded him, has to watch his kid grow up with one remaining eye.”  
The blue eyes scrunched shut, Steve breathed shakily through his nose. It was too much, the truth was too much. He did his best not to dwell on his victims. That’s what they were, victims of his ferocious left hook. He twirled on his feet and ran from the shop, blinking back devastated tears.  
Feet pounded behind him if he had been more observant he would’ve realised they weren’t Nat’s boots but the tread of trainers.  
“James?”  
His heart thumped in his chest, powerful enough to force pressure on his ribcage, any more despair in his body and the ribs would snap.  
He didn’t want to turn to match the disappointed voice with the disappointed face.  
“Is what Sam said true?”  
Decision made, he twisted towards Steve, whatever was going on, whether friendship or something else, the least he could do was be honest.  
“Yeah, it’s true. So what?”  
Steve hunched over as if James had gutted him, “so what? you put people in hospital, you knock them unconscious.”  
“Is either them or me”  
“Listen to yourself! You’re not at war, you can’t use that line to justify it.”  
“It is what it is.”  
Steve’s hands shot in his blond strands, tugging as he released a frustrated howl. They stood facing each other in silence, James couldn’t help but wince at the expression on the other mans face, devastated was an understatement.  
“You’re not the man I thought you were...your a bully, and I can’t stand bully’s.”  
James had to blink in quick succession, he would not cry no matter how much those words felt like daggers to his heart.  
“I’m not a bully Steve.”  
The blond shifted, cocking his jaw left to right, “a disillusioned bully, even worse.”  
He turned, leaving Bucky to gape at his back. Just like that, the happiness in his heart dissolved. When Steve had faded into the crowd he turned and struck the wall with his fist, again and again till the skin chipped away leaving a bloodied mess.  
Pain, that’s what Bucky knew, whether physically or emotional. Happiness was just a fantasy.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A back street fighter, the man he had been salivating over was a backstreet fight,...despite the revelation Steve couldn’t stay away from the shop. No shy smiles and crinkling eyes anymore, their transactions were silent, James didn’t even ask for his order, he twirled and got straight to work while Steve slotted his card in the machine.  
> He dismissed any thought of going to another coffee shop; he needed to see James’ face, he wasn’t addicted to caffeine, he was addicted to the brunette, even if he knew it was bad for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone's still reading, much love :)  
> Steve's POV again.  
> Unbeta'd so bound to be typo's.  
> Will ease the fighting in, I don't want to go full throttle too quick.  
> I'm a little bit in love with hurt Bucky ;)

A back street fighter, the man he had been salivating over was a backstreet fight,...despite the revelation Steve couldn’t stay away from the shop. No shy smiles and crinkling eyes anymore, their transactions were silent, James didn’t even ask for his order, he twirled and got straight to work while Steve slotted his card in the machine.  
He dismissed any thought of going to another coffee shop; he needed to see James’ face, he wasn’t addicted to caffeine, he was addicted to the brunette, even if he knew it was bad for him.  
But what could he say, give up the fighting and they could stay friends, the hurt look on the James’ face each morning told him it was too late.  
It wasn’t the fighting exactly that had Steve so disgruntled. If it was legitimate, legalised matches he would’ve been more forgiving, but it wasn’t. James fought in the pits, basement clubs with no officials keeping an eye on the fighters, no one to intervene when things got brutal, and they got very brutal very fast, there was no such things as rounds, all fights ended with an unconscious heap on the floor, whether that took a few minutes or hours it kept rolling.  
How could James be involved in such an animalistic sport?

___________________________________________________________________________

 

He swallowed hard when he saw James knuckles, purple and grazed, he imagined the poor guys face after a run in with those fists. Did the guy make it to hospital? Had he treated someone in ER with head injuries that could’ve been cause by those hands?  
He shuddered at the thought, James left the cup at the far end, Steve collected it with no words. He wondered how much money he had wasted each morning, paying for a coffee he didn’t even want, all to get a glimpse of James the barista.  
Round the corner he pushed the cup through the flap in the bin, just before the cup faded into the darkness he noticed black letters scribbled on the side.  
He swore at the bin, reaching as far down as he could in the stinking abyss, it was first thing in the morning so the bin was mostly empty, he literally had to kneel on the floor to be able to get to the bottom. A humiliated smile was plastered on his lips, he mouthed ‘keys’ to passer-by’s who responded with sympathetic smiles. How many times had mouthing that saved his butt.  
He pincer’d the edge of the cup, bringing it to the surface. He could only just make out the writing, scribbled by James in haste.  
'The wall had it coming'  
He was bruised from a wall not a man, a small relief. James hadn’t attacked anyone over the weekend unless the wall was some kind of street name. Sam had told him James was known as Bionic Bucky in the pits. But come on, who in their right mind would nickname themselves ‘the wall’.  
He rubbed his thumb over the letters, the only interaction they’d had in days. Being the sentimental fool he was, he took the cup back to his car.  
Steve was a doctor, he hated violence of any kind, even professional boxing he scoffed at and called the fighters brutes, with all his morals he should’ve hated James, but he didn’t. He missed their chats with a burning agony, he longed to see the smiles of his perfect lips, he even prodded his own cheeks, wanting to feel them heated like James made them.  
__________________________________________________________________________

They were on lunch again, Sam had been talking about some abnormal brain scans for a patient that morning, Steve was trying his best to listen but it was hard with James floating in his head.  
“-And the scan showed a kitten, hidden in her brain.”  
Steve forced a noise, one that said he was listening when actually he wasn’t. Kitten?  
“Sorry, what?”  
Sam bumped into his shoulder in reply, “I was telling you about my patient, the abnormal scans...the scanners been giving odd readings...”  
“Oh right, yeah how’s that going?”  
Sam hunched forward, elbows on his knees, hands on his head.  
“Enough with the moping Steve.”  
He dragged his eyes away from the pasta dish he was picking at, he had been arranging the pasta tubes into a rectangle shape, or more accurately a coffee cup shape.  
“Not moping, eating...”he muttered.  
This was getting ridiculous, he couldn’t even eat lunch without linking it to James, he forced himself not to see latte pasta, but puss colored slop instead. Once he thought of it like that, he couldn’t un-think it and had to push the food away.  
“The guy was bad news, there’s still Monika? Trace?”  
“I don’t want Monika or Trace.”  
He cringed at his own pathetic whine, he sounded like a sulking kid who had lost his favourite toy.  
“But you still want the guy that hits people for fun?”  
“I want James, the guy I torture myself with every morning, not the bionic one.”  
Sam groaned dramatically in response, “he’s not who you thought he was-you’ve got to move on.”  
There was something playing of Steve’s mind since last weeks’ confrontation in the shop.  
“How did you know about him?”  
Sam dropped his folk on to his plate, lounging back in his chair, “couple of guys I know, saw him fight, put some bets on him.”  
“Was one of these guys you?”  
Sam exhaled through his nose, fixing Steve with guilty eyes.  
“I saw him, didn’t bet. Not into that. He’s cocky, brutal, he’s not the type of guy you should be involved with.”  
“And what sort of guy should I be involved with?”  
“A nice one Steve, one without violent intent.”  
He scrapped the left overs in the bin with a sigh. Why did everything have to be so god damn complicated.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

 

He turned up at the coffee shop that night but James wasn’t serving, he sunk down into a booth, hoping he would appear from the back but he didn’t. Steve wasn’t worried at all...  
The next morning he wasn’t in to make Steve’s coffee. Maybe he was just ill, no need to panic if he just had the flu, but Steve couldn’t help it, he had no idea where James lived, what if he was really ill, what if a fight had gone wrong and he was unconscious in his bed.  
Three days without him showing and Steve was a trembling mess, he asked at the counter but the new barista just gave him a dismissive frown. He slipped into his booth, trying hard to control the prickle of dread in his gut. James had gone.  
A forced cough had him reeling back, looking into the angry eyes of the redhead.  
She sat down on the chair opposite, arms folded in front of her chest.  
“Is he alright?”  
She nodded slowly but continued to take apart Steve’s soul with her eyes. Sam wasn’t messing about when he said this woman was the scariest thing he’d ever seen.  
“Where is he?”  
She popped her lips with unbreakable eye contact.  
“He moved to another shop, there’s rather a lot of them around.”  
“Yeah, but where?”  
When he hadn’t been hyperventilating over the thought of James hurt he had been scouting out the coffee shops in a five-mile radius, hoping to catch sight of him.  
“He’s not a bully.”  
He huffed a laugh, “he hurts people for money.”  
“He has to fight, he doesn’t want to-”  
“I’m sure if he was that desperate for money he could get extra shifts, he doesn’t have to pummel someone.”  
She laughed with no humour, “If only everyone lived in your world, no grey areas.”  
The woman flicked her red hair and narrowed her eyes.  
“Why is it such a big deal anyway, Steve?”  
He scoffed at air, shaking his head at her naivety, “I’m a doctor, I see people everyday go through life changing injury’s. The pits...its unnecessary violence that guarantees blood.”  
“The guys that do it know the consequences, they know the risks.”  
He slammed his hand down, gaining them an audience, “that’s the thing though, they don’t know the risk, they don’t know the reality of brain damage, of paralysis. They think they’re invincible.”  
“He has two more fights, then he can walk away-”  
“That’s suppose to make me feel better?”  
Her head shook, “I’m not trying to make you feel better, I just want you to understand it’s not as simple as you’re making out. Bucky doesn’t enjoy doing it, he has to do it.”  
“Why then? Why does ‘Bucky’ do it?”  
It felt dirty to use ‘Bucky’ when speaking about James, Bucky the bully, Bucky the brute.  
“That’s not for me to say, maybe if you weren’t so quick to push him away he’d tell you himself.”  
She got to her feet, leaning down across the table, “he’s fighting Saturday, the Five Bells-”  
“You’re kidding right? You think I wanna see him figh-”  
“-that’s where he will go afterwards, think about it Steve. I haven’t seen him this unhappy since...”  
Her lips pressed together, sealing the rest of the sentence inside. Steve was tethering on begging her to continue. Her shoulders slumped, the first sign of vulnerability she had shown.  
“If you like him as much as he likes you, you’ll be there.”

____________________________________________________________________________

 

Outside the Five Bells scrawled on a blackboard were the words ‘friendly atmosphere’. Steve had been sat inside for ten minutes and it had sucked every happy feeling he’d ever felt out of his body.  
It was damp, stuffy and had the underlining smell of sweat and feet, Sam had returned from the toilet wide eyed, advising Steve not to go in there if he wanted to keep his dinner in his stomach.  
“Sooo remind me why we're here?”  
Steve rubbed the edge of his glass with a finger unable to look Sam in the eyes. “Just need to see him.”  
“You need to see the bad boy your crushing on?”  
“If I see him like this, It might give me the push to get over him...”  
Sam rolled his eyes with a puff of air. “Is that the shit you’re telling yourself?”  
Steve shoved him away “Shut it, where is everyone anyway?”  
“They’ve probably got lives and, you know, their not stalkers...”  
Steve shook his head in annoyance, “you didn’t have to come.”  
He had pretty much demanded he was tagging along, they both had a long hard week at the hospital, this was Sam’s chill time and it made Steve uncomfortable that he was wasting it in a run down pub in a dodgy neighbourhood.  
“I know, but I’m not gonna stand by and let something bad happen to you.”  
They sipped at their pints, even the alcohol in the bar had absorbed some of the sweat in the air. They were huddled in a corner, from their position they could see the bar, but the lack of lighting meant they were practically invisible to anyone who came in.  
Chanting voices carried outside, Sam darted a worried glance towards Steve and they both leaned back to ensure their faces were hidden completely.  
The sound of singing and marching feet grew, the doors smashed open and a group, of mainly men cheered. They filtered into the room, swarming the bar, fanned out cash in their hands and chuckling faces.  
The red-haired women strolled through the doors with a grin on her lips, she looked less terrifying when she was in the presence of James.  
Steve’s heart spasmed at the sight of him, the lungs in his chest froze and he stared open mouthed.  
He was topless, the rivet of each muscle glowing with perspiration, beads of sweat had dripped down his face. He glimmered like a molten statue. Steve was forced to place his hand on his heart, willing the thunderous muscle to calm the heck down.  
How many times had he fantasised about what he looked like under his uniform. It was even better than he envisioned, semi naked, black sweat pants hanging low on his hips. He shouldn’t be feeling like this, he should be repulsed. He had just fought someone, hurt someone, why the hell was his body reacting to the sight of the aftermath.  
James’ smiles were tight as the group of men continued to chant and cheer at him, he excused himself, leaning up against the opposite wall, unwinding his hands and flexing his fingers.  
“You good?” Sam whispered.  
Steve could only manage a hum in reply, his throat had constricted, it wasn’t the only place that felt tight. The throbbing in his jeans had him shifting under the table. Shit, Barista James flustered him, this James made he want to fall to his feet and beg for a taste. Stupid irrational hormones.  
The red-haired women ruffled James hair affectionately, a flare of Jealousy flipped Steve’s stomach, he dug his nails into the seat to stop himself flying over and replacing her hands with his. His brain had short circuited, all righteousness had gone out the window at the sight of the brunette sweating and topless.  
The atmosphere halted when a well suited man strolled in the bar. Everyone’s gaze including James’ fell to the floor. Steve could feel the tension, the fear leaking from the crowd.  
The greying man’s steps echoed out as he circled the room. He paused in front of James leaning back on his heels. The smile on his face was anything but friendly, it was a threatening, his hand shot up, gripping James’ chin hard. Who ever this guy was, Steve had an enormous urge to throw him away from James and stand between them.  
“One more and we’re done...Bucky.”  
Steve could see James’ head bob, but his face stayed blank, he didn’t pull his eyes up from his shoes.  
“Unless you’ve got a taste for it?”  
“One more and we’re done.” James echoed.  
The man released James’ face, tutting in disappointment. He strutted through the room with an entourage of well suited men, disappearing though the back door.  
As soon as the door clicked shut the chatter in the room increased. The woman had her forehead rolling against James’, he could see they were speaking back and forth but their voices were hushed as they chatted, oblivious to the joy surrounding them.  
Steve wiped his sweaty palms on his jeans, he shot a parting look at Sam before rising to his feet.  
The woman glanced up, a small smile crept over her face, It was a relief to have her looking at him like that and not how she did before, he was pretty certain she’d been trying to kill him with extended eye contact.  
Her hands gripped James’ shoulders, twirling him around to face Steve’s direction.  
Thank god he was still in the dark, he knew he was bordering on drooling and the bulge in his jeans was straining against the material desperate to be noticed and taken care of.  
James was just about the hottest thing he’d ever seen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh god in hell his arms ached, all he wanted to do was go back to his crappy bedsit and curl up and not surface until the throbbing of muscles had faded.  
> Pierce had demanded he kept the fight going longer, no knockout punch until he said so.  
> He did as he was told but his limbs felt wrecked from dodging and weaving. He had taken a few shots to give the crowd some sense of danger, some anxiety over whether he’d win. His shoulder was stiffening and a faint bruise was appearing like magic on his ribs.  
> His face was unmarked, that was one place he was determined not to get a punch, the blue hands and the purple ribs weren’t as noticeable as a black eye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU Steve/Bucky.  
> Unbeta'd so bound to be typo's.  
> Back to Bucky POV.  
> Lots of love for those still reading.  
> A little bit of kissing for these two, the calm before the storm, possibly...;p

Oh god in hell his arms ached, all he wanted to do was go back to his crappy bedsit and curl up and not surface until the throbbing of muscles had faded.  
Pierce had demanded he kept the fight going longer, no knockout punch until he said so.  
He did as he was told but his limbs felt wrecked from dodging and weaving. He had taken a few shots to give the crowd some sense of danger, some anxiety over whether he’d win. His shoulder was stiffening and a faint bruise was appearing like magic on his ribs.  
His face was unmarked, that was one place he was determined not to get a punch, the blue hands and the purple ribs weren’t as noticeable as a black eye.

 

The man he was fighting had hit the concrete with a roar of cheering men. He pulled his eyes up fast, not wanting to see too much of the blood spewing body. He hated looking down at what he’d done. What he was made to do by Peirce. One more fight and his debt was cleared, he could walk away and never have to degrade himself to the status of a dog again.  
“Nat, I’m not good company tonight.”  
She dragged him along behind the rowdy group, they were elated with the sight of blood, overcome with relief after the nervous hell he’d put them through.

 

“Come on, it’s good for you to get out, besides you need ice.”  
She was right as always. His knuckles had began stinging with heat, swelling under the restraining bandages.  
He plodded in after her, unable to return the worshiping smiles and pats to his arms. They were offering him alcohol, he was half tempted to drink his worry’s away with a bottle or two of bourbon but he didn’t want the bitch of a hangover to go with his throbbing body.  
He leaned against the wall, mind replaying the last minute of the fight. The man went down, blacked out long enough for Bucky to be named victor, then was dragged from the ring with a man under each arm.  
He was probably on the way to hospital, he’d felt his nose break when he hit. Hopefully that was the only serious damage he’d done. He couldn’t bare anything else on his conscience.  
He imagined Steve’s face, disgusted, horrified by Bucky. He shifted against the wall feeling a wave of dirtiness. He was covered in sweat, he knew there were speckles of blood across his body. After the first fight Nat told him never to wear grey sweat pants again, only black. He had tortured himself with the grey ones for days, but even with the black he could feel where the material had stiffened, whether with sick or blood he didn’t know.

 

He unwound his hands, marvelling at the tremors that shook them, he flexed each finger, they felt like they’d been dipped in acid. The room had fallen silent, which told him one thing. Pierce had entered and was doing his menacing walk.  
As much as he hated Pierce, he owed him, at the most darkest moment he had been there, offering a solution. He never imagined things would fuck up so dramatically but a debt was a debt.  
“One more and we’re done...Bucky.”  
That’s what he had to focus on, only one more fight then it was over.  
“Unless you’ve got a taste for it?”  
It took a lot for Bucky not to snarl in Pierces’ face.  
“One more and we’re done.” he echoed.  
He knew Peirce was hoping he would want to continue, take a cut of money for each fight. The idea of beating someone for cash was nauseating, but repaying a debt, he could just about justify it with Nat’s help.  
The steps faded, and the door clicked shut, it was amazing how quickly the atmosphere picked up when he was gone.  
“Nat, I’m not feeling it.”  
Her hand ran up his face, forcing eye contact, “one more, Bucky.”  
He huffed in reply, one more person to smash to the floor for Peirce, one more bit of his soul to destroy while doing it.  
“But at what cost Nat?”  
“You did what you had to, your life is just one fight away” her lips tilted into a lopsided grin, “besides...”  
Nat tugged him round, pushing him to face the shadows where Steve was standing.

 

“Steve?”  
He was suddenly breathless, almost an hour darting around a ring dodging hits and it was the sight of Steve to steal his breath and weaken his knees.  
“What are you doing here?”  
Steve didn’t emerge from the shadows, he seemed to be completely paralysed. That wasn’t a good sign.  
“I was around.”  
He still wasn’t coming out from the dark, Nat kneed the back of his thigh so he stumbled forward.  
Steve retreated...defiantly not a good sign, how shit could one day get?  
The blonde wasn’t looking at him, he was looking everywhere but. He wasn’t ready for round two of judgmental Steve, his heart sunk further when he saw his friend in the dark.  
They were planning on guilt tripping him double time. Nat continued to stand with her arms crossed, she didn’t look too impressed at the lack of conversation.  
Steve sat down on a stool, Sam one side of him, Bucky took the other seat, putting Steve in the middle.  
“The guy you’ve just beaten- he good or is he getting scraped up off the floor?”  
Here we go...Bucky cracked his neck, motion made it easier to conceal the flare of unease.  
“Last time I saw, he was up, walking-”  
“You hear that Steve, he’s practically a hero, he didn’t batter this one too bad.”  
“Don’t talk about stuff you don’t understand, don’t wanna hurt your brain.” Nat pouted at him.  
“You serious girl? I’m a neurologist, I know all about hurt brains.”  
It wasn’t often that Nat looked stunned, but she was staring wide eyed, stewing over a come back, Bucky laughed.  
“What the hell Bucky?”  
He shook his head unable to contain his smirk, “I’m sorry Nat, just tired is all.”  
She turned her attention back to Steve’s friend, “your brain big enough to help me collect some drinks?”  
He didn’t look pleased about the possibility of leaving Steve’s side.  
“I’ll be fine Sam.”  
The first words he’d heard him speak for a week, bloody hell he missed that all-too serious voice.  
Sam stomped away, shaking his head like a ticked off horse.  
They sat side by side, watching the punters get more and more drunk. Nat had flirted her way to the front of the queue much to Sam’s dismay. Bucky was tired, exhausted, aching, if Steve was going to deliver the final blow he wanted him to hurry up with it.  
“Why you here Steve?”  
“I wanted to see you...I needed to see you.”  
Bucky gestured to himself, “well I’m here but you can’t seem to look at me.”  
He knew he was sweating, he knew his hair was tufted at odd angles and his hands were morphing into purple blobs. He was grotesque in Steve’s eyes. Bucky actually heard Steve swallow, seconds ticked by far too slowly.  
“I’ll never like the fighting-”  
“Yeah, I get it. Bully, thug.”  
Steve ignored his dramatics and carried on, “I’m a doctor, I don’t like the thought of people hurting each other, I hate the thought of you hurting people, I particularly hate the thought of someone hurting you.”  
That was ironic considering the only person to hurt him recently had been Steve with his words of ice.  
“- but things are rarely so black and white.”  
Bucky barked a laugh, “Nat’s spoken to you.”  
“She mentioned you have your own reasons for this, and with time you might tell me...?”  
“What if I’m not ready to tell you? That mean this is finished?”  
Steve was saved from answering by the chime of a bucket.  
“Ice for ya, Bucky.”  
He breathed a thank you at the waitress, plunging his fists into the cold with a hiss.

 

“Why Bucky?”  
“Hmm, Buchanan, my middle name.”  
“And Bionic?”  
“They say I hit like a machine, they say my left arms made of steel covered by skin.”  
It was odd the bullshit he had heard people say about his arm, one opponent demanded he be x-rayed to prove there was no cheating.  
“Is there metal plates or rods?”  
“Hell no, my arm wouldn’t ache this much if there were.”  
“Can I see?”  
He tugged them out of the bucket, placing them on Steve’s outstretched palms. He curled each finger, Bucky didn’t know whether he was searching for breaks or just liked the noise of him hissing. He watched Steve’s face, the frowns, the worry wrinkle at the top of his nose. His blue eyes were reflecting the dim light from the bar, almost like the flickering of candlelight.  
Well that’s some romantic shit right there.  
Then the blue eyes fixed on his and he couldn’t breathe, Steve was still frowning, looking almost pained, he was at war with himself, Bucky was all too familiar with that feeling. He waited patiently, hoping the raging battle would go in his favour, Steve glanced away and he felt like screaming, throwing his head back and yelling at the stars. This was torture, where was the geeky Steve from the coffee shop, who couldn’t string a sentence out without blushing.  
He was fed up of feeling so drab, he missed Steve’s smiles and blushes. To hell with this.  
He dipped his hands back in the bucket before shooting them under Steve’s shirt.

 

Trust ice to break the ice....  
“Fuck! That’s cold.”  
He’d leapt up, landing on Bucky’s thigh  
Bucky pinched his side, “well its ice Steve, of course it’s cold.”  
A wave of goosebumps spread up Steve’s skin and his breathing hitched. His skin was warm and so god damn soft that once Bucky had started stroking he couldn’t stop.  
He didn’t try an slide back onto his seat, he stayed perched on Bucky’s thigh, and when their eyes met again, all worry and turmoil had gone, back to the way he use to look at Bucky in their coffee booth.  
They were nose bumping again, breaths panting, mixing in the space between them.  
He waited, he wasn’t going to be the one to force it on Steve, Steve was good, he was nice, it had to be his decision whether to take a fall and kiss a man like Bucky.  
Steve leaned forward, pressing his nose a bit too firmly into Bucky’s, he was forced to turn his head to aid Steve’s attempt.  
It was a peck at first, briefest of suction.  
Steve tried again, pressing hard, Bucky’s nails dug into the base of the stool to stop him reaching out and tugging Steve till he was straddling.  
Steve was hesitant, it was driving Bucky stir shit crazy, he bit down on his lip, pain distracting him from the need to pin Steve on the floor and climb him.  
The groan of air that rumbled through Steve’s lips had Bucky blinking fast, trying to focus on the blondes faces in the dim light. Trying to work out why he’d made that sound.  
Steve’s eyes were defiantly on his mouth, watching him savage his bottom lip.  
“You like that do you Steve?”

 

He whimpered in reply, Bucky had to grip even harder on the stool. Good job they were numb he was pretty sure they were seconds away from snapping.  
He tongued his lip, sinking his teeth in again, Another panting groan escaped the blonde’s mouth. Bucky released his lip with a pop and Steve was on him.  
The stool clattered to the floor as Steve grappled with him, tugging him up, pinning him to the back wall where it was darkest. Bucky was stunned and ridiculously turned on, he hadn’t expected Steve to be so enthusiastic so fast. The thud of wood had probably got them an audience but Steve didn’t seem to care, he was everywhere. Desperate hands were mapping Bucky’s skin, the weight of six-foot of muscle was trapping him in the corner away from prying eyes and his tongue was at full on battle, slick and wet.  
The geeky-blushing Steve suddenly wasn’t so shy and nervous.  
Every time Bucky had got use to a sensation made by Steve’s mouth, he had moved on, sucking and licking another patch of skin. He presented his neck which was desperately mauled by Steve’s tongue and lips.  
He couldn’t help his head rolling on his shoulder, the paws he’d been dreaming of were all over his body, kisses and trails of a wet tongue were placed all over his face, his neck. When teeth sunk into his shoulder, he gasped, pushing his body flush with Steve’s, moulding round him like a glove.

 

He stilled the rampant hands, circling the wrists in an unbreakable grip. It was his turn to be in charge, he threw him at the wall with his wrists above his head. Steve struggled forward to re-connect their lips, each time Bucky pulled back with a smirk, the blonde bucked and squirmed but his grip was solid, unshakable.  
He leaned in fast, capturing Steve’s bottom lip in his teeth. He ran his tongue along the edge before sucking sweetly.  
It didn’t take long for Steve to turn into a blushing quivering wreck again.  


 

The desire flowing through his body still at the sound of a grumbling voice, the happy chatter beside them had stopped again. There were raised voice but not the good kind. He pushed off Steve, shuffling back to see what was happening at the bar. Rumlow was in with his gangland group. Rumlow was bad news and his presence was sure to fuck up the night.  
He was pointing at Sam, growling at the room for an explanation. Bucky breathed deep, allowing his stubborn arousal to fade.  
He stepped out of hiding with Steve at his back.

 

“He’s with us.”  
Rumlow sneered, “and that one”, he pointed at Steve, eyes blazing with fury.  
Bucky gestured to the mass of people who all nodded at his cue. “They’re both with us.”  
Rumlow flicked his head at the twitchy man beside him, he hurried forward pulling out a switch blade.  
“You and the pretty blonde man, empty your pockets.”  
Sam shuffled, slipping his hand in his jeans.  
Bucky sighed, it really was going to be a shit night after all, “he’s not giving you nothing.”  
The crowd of people tugged Sam back, keeping him safe from Mr twitchy, that was one surprising thing about his supporters, they were undeniably loyal.  
Rumlow paced menacingly round the room, he was being spurred on by his own group of gloating men.  
“Think your untouchable don’t you Bucky.”  
“Nah, I’m touchable, you can ask Steve if you want.”  
“Blondies called Steve, I’ll remember that.”  
Bucky breathed in deeply, nostrils expanding to the max. There wasn’t many people in his life he wanted to hurt, but Rumlow was one of them, stupider than Peirce but just as crazy.  
“Fuck off Rumlow.”  
“Make me.”  
He was being tugged, not the manly hands of Steve but the petite-nail-digging ones of Nat.  
“Leave it.” she huffed.  
Rumlow laughed, facing the shifting people, “see not so tough it he.”  
“I don’t need to be tough to beat you.”  
“Nah, if we were in the ring together I’d end you, I’d end you and I’d sort your little friends out afterward.”  
Nat’s hand on his right bicep was matched by Steve’s on his left, they were both squeezing, trying to fix him to the floor.  
“You hear that everyone, I’m challenging him to a fight”, he smirked, “you’re not going to defend the honour of your friends.”  
His teeth clattered in his mouth, he was vibrating with hate, Nat was repeating his name by his ear, muttering ‘one more’ fight under her breath.  
“That it then Bucky? I could beat you now, could smash that previous blondes face in while you watch.”  
“You know what Rummy” he growled through cracking teeth, “I could down you with one punch.”  
Rumlow barked a laugh in reply, spinning round and addressing his audience, “Hear that, he thinks he could down me in-”  
He launched forward, dislodging both restraints of his arms. He swung his left, connecting with Rumlow’s face with sickening force, he couldn’t feel anything but triumph in that moment. The crumpled mess of Rumlow hit the floor, he wasn’t unconscious, but blood leaked from his nose and he stared up wide eyed.  
“See one punch.”  
Rumlow was up, snatching up a bottle and smashing it on a table, he turned it towards Bucky, pointed glass sparkling.  
Next thing he knew a bottle was being placed in his hand and the crowd was jeering behind him.  
It was amazing they were always so blood thirty, Bucky just swigged a mouthful from the bottle with a smirk.  
“I don’t need a weapon to beat you.”  
Rumlow growled, stalking forwards.

 

“WHAT IS GOING ON?”  
As if things couldn’t get worse, Peirce had entered the room. His eyes fell to the floor, along with everyone’s at his back, he hoped to god Steve was doing the same.  
“I challenged him to a fight, he said yes.”  
Peirce twirled at the bleeding man’s words, marching towards Bucky.  
“Is that so?”  
He hummed a non committal noise, Pierce slipped a hand along Bucky’s shoulder, gripping hard at the base of his neck. Nails were puncturing the skin, forcing him to tilt forward.  
“Everybody out.” he called.  
The thundering of feet started immediately, Bucky couldn’t move his head, but he hoped to god Nat was getting Steve out. The stomps died down, he could hear Nat’s frantic voice, pleading. Of course Steve was being a morally obliged idiot.  
Pierce sighed, “get out, or I blow a hole in his head.”  
There was the unmistakable sound of a gun cocking, followed by shuffling then silence.  
“I challenged him, he said yes, it’s happening.” Rumlow whined like that brat he was.  
“You know it can’t, your father would never allow it.”  
“I’m a fighter, he’s a fighter. It makes perfect sense.”  
Pierce rocked on his feet, hand gripping tighter, “Fine, Saturday, normal place, normal time.”  
Bucky was sure he’d miss heard, Pierce was actually letting him fight Rumlow...it wasn’t even a chore, if there was one person who deserved to be floored, it was him.

 

Rumlow was dismissed, he jogged to the door, passing through with a cheer of his supporters.  
“You are mine James, you don’t go threatening people, especially Rumlow.”  
He didn’t reply, he couldn’t. He doubted Pierce would listen anyway.  
“You’ve got me in a mess, I can’t have you destroy my business partners son, we already have a fractured relationship.”  
He didn’t know exactly what ‘business’ Peirce was on about but he had a huge suspicion it was very illegal, more so than some basement fights.  
The squeezing increased till Bucky was forced to scrunch his eyes.  
“Your final fight for me, and I need you to lose.”  
Pierce forced the motion of a nod out of his neck.  
“There’s a good boy.”  
He gasped when he was given control of his head back, he rubbed at the raw skin.  
“Oh and James...ditch Mr blue eyes, I can’t have you distracted.”  
Unlike Rumlow’s empty threat, this one had his gut squirming and his heart splitting with fractures.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He shouldn’t of left, he shouldn’t of left James in there with that vile creature gripping him like a puppet. He kicked out at the wall, stalking a few paces back and forth. Sam was stood arms crossed in front of him, making sure he didn’t try to rush back into the bar.  
> The red-haired woman Nat, was leaning against the wall, biting her nails, the clicks of her teeth filled the nervous silence. The group of men were waiting too, eyes fixed to the door with sealed mouths. Steve knew they were listening, listening out for the shot of a gun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve/ Bucky AU  
> Unbeta'd  
> A little bit of naughtiness in the toilets. :P  
> Thanks for still reading.

He shouldn’t of left, he shouldn’t of left James in there with that vile creature gripping him like a puppet. He kicked out at the wall, stalking a few paces back and forth. Sam was stood arms crossed in front of him, making sure he didn’t try to rush back into the bar.  
The red-haired woman Nat, was leaning against the wall, biting her nails, the clicks of her teeth filled the nervous silence. The group of men were waiting too, eyes fixed to the door with sealed mouths. Steve knew they were listening, listening out for the shot of a gun.  
The man that threatened Sam pushed through the door with a smirk, his own group of supports loitering on the other side of the street cheered.  
He twisted round to Nat, “see you Saturday.”  
She pushed off of the wall, stepping hesitantly towards the door.

 

James appeared, cracking his neck, Nat flung herself at him, gripping tight.  
Steve forced himself not to run at him too, his hands flexed at his side, wanting so desperately to grab hold of James and inspect his face, stroke the skin that the suited man had roughly grabbed at.  
Nat kissed his cheek, and he shot her a small smile in reply, Steve rocked on the balls of his feet, pushing away the surge of jealousy at their open affection. He had to remind himself it had been him swapping saliva with James not her.  
“Rumlow, is it happening?” She asked, loud enough for the shifting group to hear.  
James nodded in reply and the group exploded into a cheers.  
Steve rolled his eyes and Sam returned it, how could these people so be so utterly blood thirsty.  
“Problem?” James snarled in his direction.  
He shifted on his feet, concerned by the anger in the brunettes eyes.  
Steve flapped his hand in the air, “doesn’t matter.”  
The redhead was still draped across his body with a huge grin stretching her lips, it fell when she locked eyes with Steve.  
“If something’s up, just say it.”  
Silence stretched, not one person dared move. Steve flung his head back with a huff of air.  
“Fine...I don’t get how you can all be so happy about another fight, how can beating a man half blind make you happy?”  
He felt fingers clutching his bicep, pulling him back from the crowd. Sam was wide eyed and shaking his head slowly.  
A balding, middle aged man separated from the group, “You serious, he would’ve slashed you and your buddy if we weren’t around.”  
“You’re talking about someone’s life- your supporting destroying it-”  
“He has ruined so many, who are you to speak shit to us, should’ve let him have you.”  
James snarled at the man and he retreated fast, the pack of men were waiting for him to speak again.  
“Look, I’m a doctor, I see plenty of people destroyed by violence, I don’t want to see more.”  
“No ones asking you to” another guy yelled, the group cheered.  
Steve shot a look at James who was eyeing the floor with a frown. The woman was whispering in his ear, frantic high voice demanding what was wrong. She detached herself from his side, standing in front, blocking James from view.  
“He doesn’t need this, get outta here.”  
“What?”  
“If this disgusts you so much, I don’t want you here.” James’ voice was quiet, sound directed at his feet  
“James-”  
He threw his head backwards with a snide laugh, “those who know me, and accept me, call me Bucky.”  
The mass of body’s cheered, they surrounded James, patting his body and grinning at him with envy.  
“Come on, Steve, lets go.”  
Sam was gripping his arm, trying to lead him away.  
He walked backwards, willing James to look him in the eyes.  
He didn’t, he continued to watch the floor while his supporters sang repeats of Bionic Bucky he’s our man.  
________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Days he stewed in hospital with longing in his heart. How did that night go from one extreme to another, and who was the man everyone was fearful of?  
“Heeey.”  
Steve twirled at the purring voice, James was hovering behind, chewing at his knuckles. He was dressed in his coffee shop uniform, he hadn’t become a traitor and switched brands.  
“What do you want?”  
He wanted to spit the words out, but it sounded more like a desperate whine from his constricting throat.  
“I-um needed someone to look at my hands.”  
He held them up with his puppy dog expression, it took every ounce of willpower not to take them and run his thumb over the swellings.  
“They look fine, you can go now.”  
He spun round, walking as smoothly as he could with James’ eyes on him. Footsteps slapped behind him.  
“Look I know you’re mad-”  
“Mad!” he threw his arms out dramatically, “why would I be mad?”  
“I’m sorry I snapped at you okay, it was a stressful night...”  
Steve had spent several sleepless nights turning in his bed, caught between the arousal of the kiss, terror of the suited man and hurt of James’ dismissal. The brunette was the common factor in both his fantasies and nightmares.  
James gripped his arm, spinning him round.  
“I really am sorry.” He said again, the wrinkles in his forehead twitched at the admission.  
“You still going to fight Rumlow?”  
Bucky tilted his head slowly, bowing to the floor, “I’ve got to Steve.”  
He surged forward, cupping his hands round James hips, “no you don’t.”  
“Its the last time I swear it.”  
Steve released him with a huff of air, “until when? Next time you need a bit of cash you’ll be at it again.”  
“Can we just forget about it for one minute.”  
He gripped James hand, tugging them up to his face, “I can’t, I don’t want to picture your hands beating someone but I do.”  
A sly smile grew on James lips, “my hands are good for other things to.”  
Steve rolled his eyes, moving around James once again, he wasn’t in the mood for games, he had a whole shift to get through.  
“Look I’m busy.”  
James continued to shadow Steve.  
“Sunday, let me take you out.”  
“No.”

 

He pushed through a curtain, snatching up a clipboard, he could see James standing the other side of the flapping material, waiting for him to come out.  
Sam appeared on the opposite side of the bed, “you want me to get security?”  
He shook his head, the woman in the bed between them pricked up.  
“What’s that?”  
“Nothing for you to worry about Ma’am.”  
There was a huff of laughter from behind the curtain.  
“Steve, I’ll cover you for twenty.”  
He handed the clipboard over with a sigh.  
James bounded after him, “last fight Saturday and I swear to you that’s it.”  
Steve shook his head, “how’d I know you’ll stick to it.”  
“’cause I would. Sunday Steve, I’ll take you somewhere that’s defiantly not a coffee shop or a hospital.”

 

Steve pushed into the toilets, spinning to confront James but he wasn’t there.  
“What the hell?” he muttered to the mirror.  
James pushed in second later, triumphant smirk on his lips.  
“I don’t have time for this-”  
“Heard you tell your friend to cover for twenty minutes, that’s a long time to tell me to get lost.”  
Steve popped his mouth open in reply, James had his back to the door, blocking any escape. He was poised, sly smile spreading his perfect lips.  
“Look, I’m at work...”  
James nodded with a pout, “yup, I can see that Doctor Rogers.”  
“James.” It was said in warning but had no conviction.  
“Lets just draw a line in the whole fighting thing, just for..twenty minutes.”  
He drawled the last words out and Steve’s stomach flipped, a wash of tingles shivered his body. Steve swallowed hard when James took a tentative step forward. The blues of James eyes had vanished, consumed by black, his smile was downright predatory.  
Steve flattened himself against the tiles, hands sprayed out at his sides.  
“James...” he whined.  
“Call me Bucky.”  
Oh bloody hell he was in trouble.  
Blood was rushing around his body an alarming rate, he tilted his head up, trying to get some focus or some sense of shame. He couldn’t do this, as much as he liked James, he couldn’t turn a blind eye to the fighting and even if he could, he couldn’t mount James when he was on shift.  
“We can’t do this here.”  
“Do what?”

 

He was closer, Steve couldn’t tell how close, he was scrunching his eyes tight, trying to pull his brain into gear. He knew he was hard, he could feel the familiar heat in his slacks. The scrubs didn’t leave much to the imagination.  
This could not be happening, he was turned on to the point of panting collapse and all James had done was taken a step towards him. He was at the hospital for fuck sake, he couldn’t be caught like this.  
Lips connected with his neck and he bucked forward with a gasp. James hands were on his hip, stilling him, feeding burning heat through his clothing.

 

His neck was nipped till he squirmed, licked till his head rolled, sucked till his knees shook. His brain fuzzed out, doctor mode shut down and deprived Steve came to light. It had been so bloody long.  
He felt fingers drifting down his abs, sliding under the waist band. There was no resistance from Steve or the material he was wearing.  
James’ hand was on him, touching gentling as he purred into his neck. Steve’s hips started thrusting forward, his throat gurgled out a whimper until James gave him a firm tug. He hit his head into the wall behind, grasping for an anchor. His palms were slipping against the tiles, slick trails of needy sweat.  
“God, you’re perfect everywhere Steve.”  
He was being stroked leisurely, he should’ve been embarrassed about how wet he got so quickly, but with that hand around him and the attack of James’ mouth to his neck he didn’t give a shit.  
He was a panting, heaving mess, clinging to any sense of self-respect by not finishing immediately in James’ hand.  
He felt a swift air current tingle his side, he snapped his eyes open to the door, fear running through his veins. It was shut, the change in air had been James dropping down to his knees.  
Oh god Steve was in trouble.

 

He scrunched his eyes shut hard enough to pop them through the other side of his head. He was waiting, barely breathing, but waiting for James’ mouth to wrap around him.  
“You have no idea how long I’ve been waiting to do this.”  
His breath was ghosting, Steve whimpered in reply.  
“Every time we were late at the shop, all I wanted to do was get on my knees under the table and-”  
Steve shoved forward, trying to plunger James’ mouth.  
He breathed out a laugh at Steve’s groans of frustration.  
“Not yet, I want you to watch.”  
He squirmed against the tiles, “I ca-I can’t watch.”  
“Please, Steve.”  
Even with his eyes shut he knew Bucky was pouting, he knew amusement was written all over the brunettes face.  
“I don’t- I don’t think I can.”  
Steve flexed his jaw, bit his cheek, curled his toes, to gain enough control to open his eyes.  
He managed to, but couldn’t risk looking down, every nerve in his body had been muted, all apart from the aching mass in James hand.  
He shivered when his tongue made contact, fixing his eyes shut again.

 

“No, eyes open.”  
He whimpered, forcing his eyelids to unfasten. He knew he couldn’t look down, there was no way he’d be able to hold on.  
He watched in the mirror with his mouth slack, the muscles in James’ shoulder were pressing against his shirt. His head was bobbing, working Steve fast. Oh god, it was too much.  
His nails had dug into the grout between tiles, giving him some leverage so he didn’t flop to the floor.  
He was panting, whining, groaning. James was torturing him with his mouth, throat and tongue. Every time Steve got to the moment of release James pulled back with a smile, watching as Steve put himself back together for the next round. Time slowed, he was only aware of pleasure and need.  
“Pleaaase, please.”  
There was a grumble and smirk in reply.  
“Please, James” he panted.  
“Not James, Bucky.”  
Steve was forced to smack his head into the wall again, gaining a splinter of control. He was almost at the point of howling the place down, patients and staff be damned.  
“Bucky, oh god, please Buck.”  
“Of course Steve, you only had to ask.”

 

The mouth was on him and this time it didn’t ease off, it kept going until Steve was yelling Bucky and seeing stars. His grip on the wall failed and his legs collapsed with tremors, Bucky kindly hoisted his trousers back up as he sank to the floor.  
He was light headed, and it took a few seconds for the room to come into focus.  
Bucky was stroking himself, mouth open staring into Steve’s eyes, all Steve could do was stare back in wonder. He finished with a groan of Steve name, no one had ever said his name that sexily.  
Bucky washed his hands in the basin, watching Steve in the reflection, “how was that for twenty minutes?”  
Steve giggled in reply, still lightheaded from his climax. He shoulder pushed himself up the wall, still gasping at air from over exertion.

 

The door swung open and Steve suddenly remembered where he was.  
The janitor walked in, sheet of paper in his hand.  
“I’m here to fix the problem.”  
Bucky flicked his head in the mans direction, “it’s this one on the end, been making some pretty odd noise, kinda like a whining, groaning, how would you describe it Steve?”  
Steve tripped over his own tongue thinking of something to say, “yeah, um- yep a groaning...”  
The man left the sheet by the sinks ‘OUT OF ORDER’ printed in bold. Bucky snatched it up, folding it in four before slotting it in his pants with a smile.  
“Sunday, Steve.” he shouted as he pushed through the doors.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The expression ‘cat that’s got the cream’ wasn’t far off...Bucky was grinning ear to ear when he pushed out the toilets. He smacked straight into a mop of black hair, the boy looked up at him with narrowed eyed.  
> “What the hell, punk?”  
> He scrunched his face at the odd insult, who the hell still says punk. The man leaned up on tip-toes, puffing his chest out. Something was very off but Bucky couldn’t put a pin in it.  
> “Take a picture, it lasts longer.” the man gruffed.  
> No man sounded that forcibly rough..., Oh Jesus.  
> “Fucking hell Nat.”  
> The man-that was defiantly Nat shifted from foot to foot with eyes bulging.  
> “What you call me?”  
> Bucky laughed, bringing his hand up to her face, he brushed his finger along her jaw, feeling the roughness of...stubble and those weren’t the greeny-grey eyes he was familiar with. Shit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Bucky POV  
> unbeta'd  
> Steve/Bucky AU  
> Small bit of fighting, nothing our Bucky can't handle...

The expression ‘cat that’s got the cream’ wasn’t far off...Bucky was grinning ear to ear when he pushed out the toilets. He smacked straight into a mop of black hair, the boy looked up at him with narrowed eyed.  
“What the hell, punk?”  
He scrunched his face at the odd insult, who the hell still says punk. The man leaned up on tip-toes, puffing his chest out. Something was very off but Bucky couldn’t put a pin in it.  
“Take a picture, it lasts longer.” the man gruffed.  
No man sounded that forcibly rough..., Oh Jesus.  
“Fucking hell Nat.”  
The man-that was defiantly Nat shifted from foot to foot with eyes bulging.  
“What you call me?”  
Bucky laughed, bringing his hand up to her face, he brushed his finger along her jaw, feeling the roughness of...stubble and those weren’t the greeny-grey eyes he was familiar with. Shit.  
“Um...”  
The man flicked his chin out as Bucky thought of something to say, some explanation of why he’d been stroking his face.  
Nat might’ve been able to put on a strained mans voice but she couldn’t laugh like one, she still giggled with the mannerisms of a child. With a little annoyance and a whole ton of relief Bucky huffed a laugh.  
“Brown contacts.”  
“Yep, they suit me?”  
Bucky shifted back on his heels taking the whole profile in, ‘think I prefer you looking like Nat.”  
He reached forward, touching the black dots littering her chin and jaw.  
“Jesus Nat, what is this stuff?”  
She shrugged, rubbing her chin, “something I came up with, sand and soot, work’s pretty well.”  
“Is there a reason you’re walking around the hospital dressed as a man?”  
“I was following you, duh, thought you were going to stay away from him till after the fight.”  
An image of Steve slopped on the floor flashed in his brain and he could feel himself grinning like an idiot.  
“Oh Jesus Buck, stop will ya.”  
He shrugged, “couldn’t have him forget about me.”  
“Bucky, he’s been hanging around the coffee shop for months, he’s not going to forget you in a week.”  
Bucky pressed his lips together trying not to smirk, “he’s not going to forgot about me for quite a while.”  
She reached an un-manicured hand up, gripping his cheek, “you look so cute when you’re happy.”  
“Couple more days and I’m a free man, a better man for Steve.”  
The fingers nipping his face relaxed, she cupped his cheek with a beaming smile.  
As if on cue Steve saddled up beside him with an unsure look on his face.  
“Everything alight?”  
“Fine, Steve this is just Na-”  
“Na—aythan. Nathan.” Nat interrupted.  
She held out her hand to Steve, and he grasped it tightly, a little too tightly to be called friendly.  
“Can I ask why you’re in the hospital?”  
Steve had folded his arms and was using his professional voice, bloody hell Bucky loved the authority of it. Doctor Rogers had an air of power that flustered Steve didn’t.  
“I was um-I just wanted this one’s number.”  
Bucky had resorted to hiding his face in his hands, this was just too flaming embarrassing.  
“He isn’t interested”  
The tips of fingers were pressing into his hip, god he loved jealous Steve, he would have to use this possessive streak to his advantage one day.  
Nat turned to Bucky with a raised eyebrow, “how about it punk? Wanna dump this dipshit.”  
Oh bloody hell he was going to have words about what to say as a man, he hadn’t heard dipshit for years. He laughed into his paws, peaking a look at Steve who glared furiously down at the offending man.  
“Thanks for the offer, but I’m good.”  
He patted Steve’s chest and the blonde immediately relaxed.  
“Well if you change your mind, here’s my number.”  
Steve’s hand shot out, snatching the paper from Nat’s, he scrunched it into a fist, all Bucky could do was gawp.  
“He’s not interested.”  
Nat-or Nathan, held his hands up in surrender and backed away.  
Steve was heaving, blue eyes staring ice as the man/Nat retreated. Bucky spun around, trying to find another toilet to drag Steve into, this was far too exciting to be wasted.  
“I turn my back on you for a second and people are throwing themselves at you.”  
A chuckle escaped his lips, If only Steve knew the two people he’d seen trying it on with him were in fact the same, not-interested person.  
Steve’s claws were digging deliciously into his hips, he sunk his teeth into his bottom lip, watching as a spark of black ignited in Steve’s irises.  
“Dr Rogers, Seizure in here.”  
The hands uncurled in an instant, he took off down the corridor like the good doctor he was.  
Bucky let out a howl of frustration, Sunday, he just had to wait till Sunday.

________________________________________________________________________________

 

He strolled out of the hospital taking a gulp of fresh air, Nat was leaning against the wall waiting.  
“how’s you hand?”  
“Jesus he’s got a grip like a clamp.”  
Bucky barked a laugh, and they fell into sync beside each other.  
“You’ve got to work on what you say, no guy talks like that.”  
She shrugged, “I am my own individual guy, I don’t need to speak like others.”  
He couldn’t help but roll his eyes at her strutting, no guys he knew walked with such an over-the-top bum shake. This whole disguise needed tweaking.  
“You coming to the shop later?”  
She frowned, “for a coffee or after closing?”  
He jangled the keys of the building in her face.  
“Jesus Bucky, it’s been a week, how the hell did you get them so fast?”  
“Manager thinks I’m trustworthy.”  
“She’s an idiot.”  
“Like hell...”  
The both laughed as they strolled away, Nat/Nathans arm thrown over his shoulders.

 

The coffee shop had an identical lay out, even the customers were the same with new faces. There was just one blazingly obvious difference, there was no 6 foot hot blond by the name of doctor Rogers.  
He waved off the last customer with a smile before folding his apron on the counter, he knew Nat wouldn’t be long but he didn’t know what the hell she was going to be wearing when she arrived.  
It turns out she was still rocking the Nathan look, she mumbled a gruff hello when he opened the door.  
“And why are you still dressed like that?”  
“It’s been an eye-opening day that’s for sure.”  
She followed him through the shop, still doing her wobbling walk.  
“You like your day as a man?”  
“Apart from when a woman took a swing for me.”  
Bucky twisted round, “what?”  
“My fault, I forgot I was a man when I was desperate for the toilet.”

 

He opened the door for Nat to pass through, identical back room. A brand new punch bag was hooked to the ceiling.  
“How the hell have you managed that in a week?”  
“What can I say...I’m all charm.”  
She scoffed her words circling the bag, “there’s charm and then there’s a creepy boss.”  
“Well, she demanded a camera, probably thinks I’m gunna steal something.”  
Nat smacked him on the back of the head, “Idiot, that’s not what the camera’s for, its facing the bloody punch bag.”  
He had an admirer, as long as it wasn’t the type to kidnap him and tie him up, that was all for Steve.  
His head stung with another slap, “I know what you’re thinking when you grin like that, focus.”  
He flung his shirt at her, catching her across the face, “Okay, okay I’m focused.”  
The next hour he spent hitting the bag with no real conviction, he had to fall down when he was told to, there was no point practising his meanest left hook if he wasn’t allowed to use it. His hands still had faint purple marks from the previous fight, they didn’t hurt but he was going to aggravate them.  
“So what’s the plan?”  
He stilled the bag, draping his arms around it, “when Peirce gives the signal, I take a hit to the face, collapse dramatically and stay down.”  
“What’s the signal?”  
Peirce wasn’t one for subtly, no scratch of the nose, or wink but a full on coliseum style thumbs down.  
“Don’t worry Nat, I know it.”  
“And are you okay with getting downed by Rumlow.”  
He goes down Pierce keeps his messed up business relationship, Rumlow celebrates his status as top fighter and Bucky gets Steve, win win.  
“For Steve, I’m doing this for a life free of all this, with him.”  
She chewed on her lip, “Mmm hmm, just make sure you remember that when you’re in there.”

 

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

The pits, so called because they were dark, stuffy with very little natural light or sense of life.  
The smell of bleach was so powerful it made your eyes water and nose tingle.  
The crowd were already in, forty people come to watch the grudge match. Bucky’s loyal fans had taken one corner of the ring, cheering their chorus’s of bionic Bucky.  
He was ready, shirt off and black sweat pants on, he hoped the punch to his face wasn’t going to be too messy, he didn’t want a broken nose or lost tooth.

“You ready Bucky?”  
He gave Nat a reassuring smile and trailed behind her as she led him into the room, he blinked back the terrible smell, approaching his corner.  
“Knock him down Buck!”  
He shot a distracted smile towards the man, he knew he’d placed a big bet, his whole months wages on Bucky winning.  
He shook his head, pushing that prickle of guilt away. His life was literally depending on going to the floor when he told to, he couldn’t get swept up in his supporters lives.  
“Bucky, you win, it’s enough for my little gal to go college?”  
Oh fuck, that was a sure way to make him feel like a dick, he gave another tight smile passing the guy.  
He had to do this for Pierce, to have a life with Steve. He could be a selfish jerk just this once.

 

Nat lifted the rope for him and he ducked inside, locking eyes with the sneering Rumlow.  
“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to fight you Bucky.”  
Bucky lifted his shoulders in reply, “well, we gunna do it, or just chat shit about doing it.”  
It began with a roar of people, clapping their hands and stamping their feet, they wanted blood. Rumlow was as subtle as a charging Rhinoceros. It wasn’t difficult to read his body, to know what swings and hits he was trying for.  
Bucky was pretty damn confident he could’ve ended the fight in the first few minute, his left hook itched to be used.  
He took a body hit, wincing hard, clutching at his side, it was a bearable pain but he needed to play on it. Game fixes could be smelt a mile off and he didn’t want to deal with that shit too.  
Each minute that past he tried not to look over to his corner, the usual screaming of his name was absent, group watching on in terror at the thought of him losing.  
They had supported him through nine fights, gone to the bar with him afterward, bought him drinks, slipped dollars into his pockets when they saw him in the street. He was letting them down, betraying their confidence in him.  
Rumlow didn’t look too impressed either, he was frowning at Bucky, darting confused looks over to his supporters with a shrug.  
Bucky’s own looks to Pierce were waved away, he had to keep going till the boss said it was up.

 

“That blonde you were with, what was his name, Steve? or how about doctor Rogers?”  
Every muscle coiled tight in his body at Rumlow’s taunting, he was doing this for Steve, to be a better man and escape this awful place.  
“Doctor hey? Bet he’s got a real gentle touch.”  
He chomped on his tongue, he wasn’t rising to this bullshit.  
“Might pay him a visit when we’re done...”  
Bucky was full on bouncing on his feet, growling at the sneering face in front of him.  
“I doubt he’s had many, bet he’s still nice and tight, until I get hold of him.”  
Bucky rolled his shoulder, pulling his lips back over his teeth.  
“You ain’t getting no hands on him.”  
Rumlow swung for him and he dodged out the way, the bumbling idiot tripped down to his knees.  
“That is where you should be, Rummy.”  
He got to his feet glaring fire, “Yeah on my knee’s, like your dear sister.”  
He froze, eyes rounding, threatening to burst out, “what did you say?”  
“Oh we all knew your sister, she’d do anything for a fix.”  
Bucky pressed his teeth so hard together they ached his gums, threatening to tear them.  
“Have I touched on a nerve?”  
Pierce was behind Rumlow, thumb pointed down, waving it with anger.

 

Rumlow swung for him and he twirled out the way, body set like steel, every muscle was tense, vibrating with angry energy.  
Fuck stupid Pierce’s fucking thumb, he was knocking this heap of shit down.  
He clicked the bone in his left wrist, cracked his neck and flew at Rumlow with every bit of velocity he possessed. Smashing his fist hard into the stupid fucks face. He felt the bone in his face separate, shifting under pure hatred. He started to topple, a mammoth building being demolished, he was on his knees, mouth slack, face sagging. He slapped down on the concrete with a splat of blood.  
Bucky's corner exploded, men were rushing in grappling with each other to get to him. Gripping his body tight when it became obvious he wasn’t done with Rumlow, he wanted to destroy that taunting face.  
Colours and shapes were blurring in his vision, he wiped angrily at the tears breaking free.  
“What the fuck have you done?” Nat whispered into his ear.  
Her words pulled him from his grief, he scanned the room, finding Pierce among the cheering crowd. His jaw was cocked forward, face like stone. One single wobble of his head.  
Bucky had just brought a whole world of shit on himself.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He should’ve been relaxing back at home after a busy week but instead he had taken an extra shift at the hospital. He knew without a distraction he would be thinking of Bucky and he didn’t want to spend hours moping around his apartment going through a kaleidoscope of emotions about the brunette.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This isn't going the route I was aiming, I was trying to write, cute, fluff with some awkwardness but I'll justify the change by saying-  
> a) I clearly can't write fluff and nice stuff.  
> b) I write a chapter a day and didn't know myself it would go this way.  
> C) There are loads of super hot-cute-coffee shop fic's out there.  
> ....sooo onwards...  
> Warning: aftermath of a beating. Mention of drug overdose.  
> Steves POV  
> Unbeta'd  
> I will NEVER mortally injure Bucky or Steve.

He should’ve been relaxing back at home after a busy week but instead he had taken an extra shift at the hospital. He knew without a distraction he would be thinking of Bucky and he didn’t want to spend hours moping around his apartment going through a kaleidoscope of emotions about the brunette.  
He was a damn good doctor, if there was one thing he could truly be distracted by it was caring for Patients. Sam was on shift too, still angry about the scanners. They had been giving false readings, claiming there were sinister shadows on the scans when in reality they were fine. His patients were backing up, having to be scanned twice to get a more accurate reading. They had just sat down for a break when a nurse bounded over.

 

“Dr Wilson, emergency patient.”  
Steve sunk back in his chair giving Sam a tight lipped smile, “no rest for the wicked.”  
Sam huffed, slotting his leftover sandwich in the bin, “One of these days I’ll actually get to finish my food.”  
Steve watched him go, sipping his bland coffee-machine-coffee, he hoped when the fight was over, Bucky would move back to his normal coffee place.  
“Steve, you’re gunna want to see this.”  
He was up, jogging down the corridor to join Sam’s head poking out the curtain.  
“What is it?”  
Sam moved out the way, clipboard in hand, letting Steve see the patient.  
Rumlow, he was conscious, and clearly furious at being gawped at my both Sam and Steve, he growled and gurgled but no sounds could be interpreted as words.  
“I wouldn’t try to talk, it will only make your jaw worse.”  
Steve got a pained howl in reply. Broken jaw and a black eye, it was quite possible there was more damage and only the scan would tell them for sure...  
“I need to take your blood pressure.”  
Rumlow snatched his arm out the way, gaining him a very serious glare from Sam.  
“The longer you drag this out, the more painful it will be.”  
Another gurgling curse word escaped the injured mans mouth.  
Steve sighed, “Look just let him do his job, we’ve got to send you for a CAT scan, best get on with it before you miss your slot.”  
Rumlow continued to stare but he held up his arm obediently for Sam.  
Basic tests accounted for Rumlow was pushed down the corridor for his scan, still sniping and growling but the nurses weren’t bothered, they assumed the pain was making him rude, rather than the truth of it. Rumlow was just a shit person.  
“Looks like Bionic Bucky strikes again.”  
Steve swallowed, he would always be sickened by unnecessary violence, but he couldn’t help feeling relieved it was Rumlow in the bed and not Bucky. He was probably at the bar with Nat, bidding farewell to all his blood starved supporters.

 

Steve kept checking in on Rumlow’s progress, there was no sign of any brain trauma but the smashed up jaw was fairly obvious even for a non professional. He was scheduled for an operation the next morning, screws and rods to fix the mess Bucky had made.  
“You sure that’s his last fight?”  
Steve nodded slowly, “that’s what he told me.”  
Now he knew the fight was done he wanted the shift to hurry up. It was slow, not expected to become busy until after midnight when the drunks were due to stumble in. He strolled down the corridor, happy enough to hum a tune.  
He slipped inside a cubical, snatching up a clipboard from the end of the bed.  
Peggy Carter, nasty fall off a ladder. No broken bones, no head injury but a definite concussion. She was staying over night for observation.  
“Why you so happy?”  
He peered at her, “no reason.”  
She giggled tossing her head from side to side in the bed, “all night you’ve been tense, now your humming and cracking smiles.”  
“I’m just-I’m just-“  
Her giggling had him flushing, “it’s ok dear, I think I can tell it involves special someone, what she like?”  
“Um, well she’s a he--”  
“Help, we need some help over here!”  
Steve glanced through the curtain seeing a group of guys, dragging an unconscious form into the department, apparently some guys liked to get inebriated before it had past ten.  
He turned back to Peggy who was listening intently to the commotion in the corridor.  
“Too much to drink.” He said to calm her.  
“I don’t know why these young men do it, put themselves in danger like that.”  
“Some just can’t handle their drink.”  
“Stupid boys.”  
Steve nodded with a laugh, his thoughts exactly.  
He placed the clipboard down the bed, cupping Peggy’s face to take a look at her pupils.  
She flinched away.  
“I’m sorry, they won’t be so sensitive in a few hours.”  
“Jeeeesus...” Sam’s unmistakable voice was the other side of the curtain.  
“Yeah, that’s me.” Steve said with a wink at Peggy.  
Sam flew into the cubicle, eyes wide and mouth stuttering.  
“Steve, you need to get out there.”  
He flicked his hand in Sam’s direction, “they’ve got it covered, they just need to get him in a bed to sober up-“  
Sam gripped his shoulders and pushed him.  
“What the?”

 

The redhead women-Nat, was there, tears streaming down her rounded cheeks. The group who had dropped the drunk off were still there, shifting and darting anxious looks at each other.  
Steve’s steps over to the group were slow, unfocused, he felt almost drunk himself. Nat’s head snapped up, locking eyes with his blues and his heart sank. He scampered past the crowd, throwing the curtains open to reveal the man that had come in minutes ago, unconscious and not drunk, but hurt.  
His feet were moving, brain muddled between doctor Rogers and hopelessly in love Steve. He gripped the rail of the bed, hard enough to turn the skin white. He pushed the traumatised, emotions aside and fell into doctor mode, Bucky didn’t need a blubbering boyfriend, he needed a damn good doctor.  
“What happened?”  
The doctor working on him shrugged, there not giving us any information, said they found him like this.”  
Steve tried to think of the unconscious man as any other patient, pushing the knowledge it was Bucky away. Welting bruises were black across his abdomen, repeated hits hard enough to split the skin. The lungs were still functioning although not as deeply as they should. Red blotches were appearing along the bottom ribs, likely they were broken, possible punctured lung, although not enough air was seeping into the chest cavity to collapse it.  
Trauma was localised to that area, no bruising high on his chest, arms or legs. It took a deep breath and nerves of steel to force his eyes to the face. Bucky’s face. No marks of bruises or broken skin, but it was deathly white, dark circles had formed under his eyes and when he cracked an eyelid open he recoiled at the sight of blood red whites, every capillary had burst.  
He steadied himself on the rails, forcing doctor Steve to get his shit together. He shouted at the curtain, he knew Nat was hovering on the other side.  
“Tell me what happened!”  
She was reluctant to speak in front of the group so he gripped her arm and pulled her inside. Nat was trembling, staring down at the crumpled mess of her friend.  
“Bucky needs you to help him.”  
She sniffed, shutting her eyes tightly.  
“You need to tell me what happened, this can’t have been the fight, Rumlow came in ages ago.”  
She shook her head with her eyes still shut, “wasn’t him. Pierce, He was furious, came to the bar. They tied his hand behind his back and told us all to leave...”  
Steve searched out Bucky’s wrists, touching the raw skin.  
“We need saline.” He shouted over Nat’s head and a nurse bounded out.  
“Then what happened?”  
“It was a while- then Pierce and the others came out.”  
Steve paused against the bed, taking a deep controlled breath at the word ‘others’, “was he conscious when you went back in?”  
Nat shook her head with a sob, “no, I couldn’t get him to wake.”  
The nurses were taking blood pressure, retesting his pupils, they had the go ahead to wheel him for an x-ray.  
Steve’s restraint was slipping fast, he breathed through his nose, willing himself to stay in the game.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

The x-ray confirmed what Steve expected, two cracked ribs and internal bleeding, not enough to need an operation, he sighed with relief at the appearance of his lungs, no punctures, no worrying shadows.  
“Is he going to be alright?”  
Steve itched the back of his head, with a small smile.  
“He’s going to be sore, and in pain,” He gestured to Bucky’s notes, “there’s nothing here too sinister.”  


 

Bucky came back to consciousness with a gasp and erratic panting of air, Steve was up, pushing gently on his shoulder so he remained in the bed.  
“Buck, it’s okay.”  
The heart monitor picked up, beeping becoming a near constant ringing.  
“You’re in hospital, I need you to relax.”  
He was wheezing for air, wincing on each breath as his heart rate continued to soar.  
Nat shoved Steve out the way, gripping Bucky’s face, “Calm the fuck down, now.”  
Bucky’s breathing began to slow at Nat’s words, his eyes were shiny red and darting between the two of them with uncertainty, but he breathed controlled breaths through his nose. He eased himself back into the cushion, straining muscles relaxing.  
“How’s your pain?”  
He didn’t reply, he pressed his lips together, eyebrows and forehead twitching.  
“Do you need some more morphine?”  
Steve saw the smallest of movements, a turn of his head for a no. Then his eyes went wide, and he started to tremble, his hand although uncoordinated and painful to move swiped at the cannula.  
Steve gripped his arm, careful not to squeeze where the skin was broken.  
“It’s okay, it’s just the drip for the morphine.”  
He battled with Steve, desperate to get to the patch on his arm.  
“It’s pain relief-”  
“Just take it out Steve.” Nat was trying to pin Bucky’s shoulders to the bed, even when he was sluggish he was strong.  
“What?”  
“If you don’t take it out, he will.”  
He had Bucky restrained, was close enough to whisper in the brunettes’ ear.  
“You want it out?”  
He nodded with a broken breath.  
“Okay.”  
Against his better judgment he unwound the surgical tape and edged the needle away.  
“I can get you some pill based morphine if you’re not okay with the needle.”  
The brunette scrunched his face up and shook his head.  
“Steve, can I speak to him alone?”  
The answer no flashed in his head like a strobe light, he didn’t want to let him out of his sight, it was four in the morning, he was exhausted but he’d rather have his nails pulled off then be a meter away from the beaten man in the bed.  
“I need to check his vitals.”  
He jotted down on his clipboard the time, the heart rate. He cupped the mans cheek, but he screwed his face at the contact.  
“I’ve got to check your eyes, Buck.”  
He glared, Steve’s finger pressed down on the skin under his lids. All the whites were stained scarlet, the eyes that looked at him weren’t the puppy dog ones he was familiar with, they had taken on a more feral appearance, a caged wolf on the defensive.  
“Steve, I need to talk to him, on my own.”  
It was the second time she’d asked, and she had waited patiently while he took as long as possible to jot down notes.  
“Just call if you need me.”  
She nodded slowly, no longer the blubbering woman of a few hours ago but the furious redhead from the coffee shop.  
He stayed the other side of the curtain, just about able to see Bucky through a gap.

 

“What the hell were you thinking?” She was growling, pacing beside the bed.  
Bucky didn’t reply, he forced his head back in the cushion hard.  
“What about being free of all that shit.”  
“Well it didn’t go to plan did it.”  
“Why? Why did you do that?”  
“I’m sorry, it just happened-” his tone was anything but sincere.  
She paused, rattling the rail as she leaned toward him, “Sorry, you’re not sorry. You only had to do what you’d been told. He tried to kill you Bucky.”  
The brunette pulled his lips back into a twisted smirk, “he wasn’t trying to kill me. I’m no fun if I’m dead, not when he can make a spectical out of it.”  
“I had to wait outside, listening for the sound of a shot.”  
Bucky huffed, twisting his fingers in the sheet of the bed. “No gun, maybe the sad bastards got sentimental over me.”  
“What the fuck Bucky, I thought you were dead-”  
“Well I’m not, so get over it.”  
She reeled back before launching forward and slapping him across the face.  
Steve was in, restraining Nat from attacking again, “your selfish, a selfish stupid idiot.”  
He fixed his bloodied eyes on Steve, “get the crazy red head out of here.”  
She kicked out like a enraged bull as he dragged her through the curtain, she was hissing and spitting towards the bed. Steve blocked her path back to Bucky, she shifted on her feet before throwing her hands up retreating.

 

He pushed through the curtain, ready to lecture Bucky about rudeness but froze at the sight of the other man. His hands were over his face, he was sniffing and rubbing harshly.  
“Oh, Buck.”  
His voice stilled the quivering man, the hand’s slipped down and he stared at Steve with unforgiving eyes.  
“Get out.”  
His feet rooted to the floor, caught between rushing over and consoling the man or backing off. Rivers of tears had flowed down his cheeks, grouping together at the base of his jaw, dripping large droplets on his chest.  
“I said GET OUT!”  
He backed away, disappearing through the curtain with an aching heart.

 

Several nurses and Doctors had tried to make him go home. Sam was texting for progress on Bucky’s condition. Steve hadn’t ventured back to the injured mans side, a nurse was in regularly to check on him, each time she came out with a grim shrug. He didn’t want any painkillers and they couldn’t force him.

Steve finally got the courage to return to his side, hoping a bit of the old Bucky had resurfaced.  
“Lay it on me, doc.”  
He tried not to be effected by the use of doc and not his name, he couldn’t dwell on it.  
“You’ve got two cracked ribs, heavy bruising on your abdomen, lacerations on your wrists. The blood vessels in your eyes have burst-”  
“Right, can I leave now?”  
His jaw dropped open, “Um, I would advise you to stay in longer.”  
“Advise, so you can’t force me?”  
“No one can force you-”  
He shifted forward on his elbows, trying to hide a wince. “Let me go.”  
Steve resisted every urge to push him back into the bed, “you need to sign some forms and you need some clothes.”  
“Right fine, make it fast.”  
He stretched his hand out to touch Bucky’s face but he dodged away.  
He sunk back into the pillow with a flexing jaw and aggressive eyes, “where are my pants?”  
“I’ll go find them.”  
He exited the cubical, planning on taking as long as possible to get his clothing, he didn’t even go to the nurses station for the discharge forms. Bucky was safest in hospital, he would keep him there for as long as he could.  
He settled down in a chair, fingers dancing over the computer. All Bucky’s medical history in front of him, nothing of any interest. The next of kin had him frowning, there was one on his files but none of the nurses had mentioned calling one.

 

Rebecca Barnes, he clicked on the name, bringing up her medical history as he did.  
Deceased.  
Drug overdoes eighteen months ago. He scrolled down, reading her life through medical notes and records.  
She clearly had troubled life, had been rushed into hospital for a few over-doses.  
Steve frowned, she had enrolled in a substance abuse rehabilitation programme, a first class retreat to help addicts, two years ago.-  
“Dr rogers, Mr Barnes has gone.”  
Stubborn jerk.  
“Discharge forms, clothes, he had neither?”  
“Anna got him some clothes...”  
Steve growled and was off jogging down the corridor and out the front door.

 

It didn’t take much effort to find him, he was barely out of the hospital, stumbling along with his arms wrapped round his stomach.  
“Bucky, this isn’t a good idea.”  
He huffed a bitter laugh, “I happen to think it’s the best idea I’ve had.”  
He was sluggish, eyes struggling to stay open with each painful step.  
“Come on, lets go back inside. Get you some proper pain relief sorted.”  
“Only pain relief I need is back at my shit-hole of a bedsit, its amber in colour and burns my throat when I take it.”  
He leaned up against a wall, breathing quick shallow breaths, he turned back to the hospital doors looking disappointed at his progress.  
“What do you want Steve?”  
“I want to take you back into the hospital, get you to lay down and have some pain relief.”  
He chuckled darkly in reply, “nope, not going back in there.”  
“Please Buck-”  
“That’s what doctor Rogers wants, but what does Steve want?”  
Steve shifted on his feet, hand making an aborted attempt to reach out, “I want you to come back to mine, If you’re planning on self-medicating I can at least keep and eye on you.”  
The red eyes fixed on Steve’s, squinting at his words. “I’m no charity case.”  
The blonde lifted an eyebrow, “I know you’re not, but you kinda owe me a date.”  
There was the smallest twitch at the corner of his mouth, Steve hoped to god it was a smile and not a grimace of pain.  
“Don’t think I’ll make a good date today.”  
“That’s okay, first date always suck, the third is when things get interesting?”  
There was a definite more obvious twitch of the lips, even though Bucky’s eyes were blood red the skin around them still crinkled into the grin Steve loved.  
“How about it Buck? Back to mine?”  
He bowed his head to the floor and Steve stiffened, thinking Bucky was about to cast him away.  
“Okay.”

 

The walk back to Steve’s apartment was the most gut wrenching forty-five minutes of his life. Bucky didn’t want help, but with each step his breathing stuttered and his jaw stiffened.  
Steve had to tug his own hair in frustration and try not to interfere, it was obviously a control thing, he was trying to prove he could do it unaided.  
He paused outside the coffee shop, blinking at the building in confusion.  
Steve tried to Steer his elbow to keep his moving, but he was shrugged away. He started moving by himself again, frowning at the pavement.  
Steve unlocked the door, holding it wide for the injured man to pass through. Bucky had paused, hesitating about going into the apartment.  
“You sure about this Steve?”  
Steve released a breath he didn’t realise he was holding, “Of course I am, now get the hell inside.”  
He was targeted at the sofa, moving as quickly as he could toward luxury. He collapsed down with a sigh, his arms unwrapped around his middle and hung limp at his sides.  
“You want a drink?”  
“Any whiskey?”  
Steve shook his head and Bucky groaned, attempting to stand again.  
“I need whiskey.”  
Steve blocked his path, “you need to sit down before you fall down.”  
“When I imagined playing doctors and patients with you it was far sexier in my head.”  
“Sit. I’ll go get you some whiskey”  
Bucky sighed in relief, relaxing back into the cushions.

 

At the shop Steve grabbed the smallest bottle of whiskey he could find, a few boxes of Ibuprofen and a pizza. The cashier glared down at his items with an open mouth.  
“I’m a doctor.” He said quickly.  
The man held his palms, “Man, it’s none of my business but topping yourself is never the answer.”  
“I’m not suicidal, its for a friend.”  
Well that made it sound ten times worse, he decided to give up on further conversation. The cashier was shooting lasers into his back as he left.

 

Steve stomach sunk to his knee’s when he saw the sofa was absent.  
“Fuck sake Bucky.”  
“What?”  
He had moved, circling a punch bag that hung from the ceiling with a questioning glance.  
“Um-I got it, to help with stress.”  
Bucky draped his arms around it, hugging the material.  
“How’s it working for ya?”  
Steve shrugged, it was working fine a day ago, he was pretty sure punching it wasn’t going to help his stress levels anymore.  
He held up the whiskey and pills with a smile.  
“Jesus Steve, this a date or you trying to kill me?”  
“Just sit down and drink your damn whiskey.”  
A small smile twitched on the brunettes face, he hugged his body as he shuffled to the sofa.  
“Not quite the first date you imagined?”  
Steve shrugged, “well its not a coffee shop and it’s not a hospital...”


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He didn’t know quite how it happened, but he ended up staying in Steve’s apartment. It wasn’t the fuck-a-thon he hoped, In fact there was absolutely no intimate contact between them. The first few days Bucky couldn’t even string out a sex fantasy in his head, he was too focussed on finding a comfortable position to breathe in. Steve’s pitying glances were actually quite refreshing, it meant Bucky wasn’t being overly dramatic when he was squeezing a cushion hard into his gut, growling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve/Bucky AU  
> Unbeta'd so bound to be typo's  
> Bucky perspective.  
> Much love to those still reading :)

He didn’t quite know how it happened, but he ended up staying in Steve’s apartment. It wasn’t the fuck-a-thon he hoped, In fact there was absolutely no intimate contact between them. The first few days Bucky couldn’t even string out a sex fantasy in his head, he was too focussed on finding a comfortable position to breathe in. Steve’s pitying glances were actually quite refreshing, it meant Bucky wasn’t being overly dramatic when he was squeezing a cushion hard into his gut, growling. 

 

He spent the first week curled on the sofa, bag of ice or cushion pushed against his stomach. Steve had given him such a grateful smile when he started taking the ibuprofen rather than drinking excessive whiskey. Every time Steve was at work the bottle called to him, in the end he had to ask Steve to place it in the top of a cupboard, his body wasn’t up for stretching and he didn’t want to break his promise.  
He knew he should go back to his own place but sleeping in an actual bed, breathing in the scent of Steve was heavenly. He grumbled about wanting his own clothes, but that was purely so he didn’t seem like such a sap. As soon as Steve left for work, he climbed into one of his oversized hoodies, breathing in fabric softener and the faint muskiness of Steve.  
Each time Bucky mentioned leaving, returning to his bedsit, Doctor Steve was displaced by the other Steve, the one whose hands twitched as if wanting to reach out, the one with the sad eyes that sagged at the thought of Bucky going. The one who changed the subject as soon as it had been mentioned.

 

It might’ve been cruel but it was nice to see that version, to know Steve wanted him there and it wasn’t solely based on him being a doctor.  
Days he spent flipping his phone in his hands, he knew he was going to get a call from Pierce, he knew there was no way things were done. He was living a pained existence waiting for the final nail in his coffin.

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

It was Saturday, Bucky was pushing cereal around the bowl, scooping it up and watching it fall. His phone was on the counter, hand possessively pinning it in place.  
“What are you waiting for?”  
He blinked owlishly at Steve, “waiting?”  
Steve gestured to the phone clamped on the table. There was no way he was admitting he was waiting for a dreaded call from Pierce, demanding more of him.  
“Tina, she wants to talk about work.”  
Steve frowned, “tell her your doctor said you’ve got to take four weeks off.”  
“She’s pretty desperate, short staffed and all that.”  
“Tough, she’ll just have to get temps.”  
Bucky shook his head, “she’s given me three off.”  
“That’s not enough.”  
The brunette huffed, Doctor Steve was a bossy jerk sometimes, “I’m sure if I collapse she’ll be first to revive me.”  
Steve paused mid chew, a spark of jealousy igniting in his eyes.  
“If you’re not fit to go back, you’re not going.”  
Bucky’s head dropped on his shoulders, “Steve I’m not a child, I’ll be fine in a few weeks, it’s not like its the first time I’ve taken a beating.”  
“First time you’ve got tied up while men did it.”  
Bucky flexed his jaw, “yeah well, my stupid fault.”  
He stood walking to the kitchen to drop his bowl in the sink with a thud.  
“So, I was thinking of coming with you to get some of your stuff.”  
Bucky couldn’t help but stiffen, the thought of Steve walking in on his chaotic lifestyle sent a shiver up his spine.  
“I can handle it Steve...maybe it’s time I went back to mine anyway.”  
Steve’s bowl chimed down on the counter behind him, making him spring up and twirl round. A hurt expression was plastered on the blonde’s face.  
“I’m only trying to help you Buck.”  
“I know, but I’m not your responsibility.”  
“All my patients are my responsibility.”  
Bucky recoiled at the invisible slap around the face, him staying in Steve’s flat was clearly some misplaced sense of duty. Since when had their relationship turned into this? Steve was acting like his carer---  
“Stay a few more days, we’ll go get some of your things. Your bedsits over the other side of town, you’re closer to the hospital here in case something happens.”  
“You gonna keep on at me till I say yes?”  
Steve nodded with a sympathetic smile.  
“Fine, lets get it over with...only for a few more days.”

 

_________________________________________________________________________

 

Bucky glared at Steve curiously, he was as watchful as a gazelle, clearly uncomfortable strolling down a crime hotspot. There were a few groups loitering on the pavement, but they nodded their heads in Bucky’s direction and he did the same, being known as a fighter had some advantages, stories had been exaggerated, people either gave him a dose of respect or they crossed the street to be away from him.  
“Just wait here, I’ll be down in a sec.”  
Footsteps followed hot on his heels, Steve was a stubborn bastard when he wanted to be.  
He slotted the key in with a sigh listening to the uncomfortable shifting behind him. If Steve’s place was a castle then his was a dungeon. He swung the door wide, strolling straight in, he wasn’t holding the door for Steve, this was no great reveal. It was a shit hole and a mess, no point trying to dress it up.  
It wasn’t quite a bedsit, there was in fact a bedroom but it never belonged to Bucky, his bed was the couch, a shabby wardrobe and chest of drawers stood beside it. He began unloading his clothes into a bag.  
Steve was eyeing the room, slow uncertain steps pacing. Bucky didn’t want to look at him, he was sure there was pity in his eyes and he couldn’t handle seeing it.  
Bucky’s hand brushed against the bedroom door as he passed, lingering on the metal for a few seconds. No, he didn’t want to go in there, the frozen in time room of his sister.  
He slid various bottles into his bag from the bathroom, before throwing it over his shoulder, he winced, the muscles In his stomach throbbed with pain.  
He turned to see Steve paused in the other room. He was glaring into the now open bedroom. Bucky sighed, joining the blondes side. He leaned forward, tugging the handle till the door clicked shut.  
Steve didn’t ask about it, which was a massive relief, he didn’t want to go down that dark road when he was already on shit street.  
“I’m done for now.”  
Steve nodded, reaching forward and pulling the bag off his shoulder, “let’s go home.”  
It was on the tip of his tongue to dismiss Steve’s place as home, but it sounded so bloody nice that all he could do was give a grateful smile.

 

He continued to watch his phone, spin it in his fingers, waiting. Steve was at work in the day, he’d send odd messages, asking it he’d left the tap on in the bathroom, or the oven, or the shower, or did he put the timer on to record some rubbish show. Bucky wasn’t stupid, he knew Steve was checking up on him, he text back immediately, not wanting to cause Steve any unnecessary distress.  
A few days later it clicked in his head, if he really was waiting for Pierce to confirm his fate, he might as well make the most of the quiet before the storm, searing ribs be damned.

 

Steve returned from work tired, he collapsed down on the sofa beside him with a sigh.  
“That was a long shift!”  
“Long and haaard.” Bucky pouted in reply.  
Steve shot a look towards the kitchen, scanning the worktops for whiskey.  
“Um something like that.”  
“So I was thinking about the coffee shop.”  
“What about it, Tina given you time off right?”  
Bucky shifted further along on the sofa, eye’s lingering on Steve’s mouth.  
“Not my coffee shop, just coffee shops in general.”  
Steve straightened, eyebrow twitching, “are you hinting you want me to get you coffee?”  
Bucky’s shook his head, heavy hand settling on Steve’s thigh, “Nooo, just noticed there was one at the hospital...”  
Steve shifted, hand coming down on top of Bucky’s, “Hmmm”  
“...and there’s one just round the corner from your apartment...”  
Bucky was in full on stalk mode, turning on the sofa, moving both legs off the floor to straddle Steve. He held his breath at the movement, not wanting to aggravate his stinging lungs.  
“Is there?” Steve breathed.  
Red was straining his cheeks, a palm settled on each of Bucky’s thighs with the smallest of squeezes.  
“What was it you liked about my coffee shop, exactly.”  
He nudged Steve’s face with his nose, smiling to himself when his head flopped back, exposing his pale neck for Bucky to gorge on.  
“Your-um. coffee, it tastes the best.”  
Bucky couldn’t help but laugh into Steve’s neck, his coffee was that good he ditched it every morning without even a sip. The pain in his body disbursed, and all he could feel was giddiness at the knowledge blushing Steve was still in there. Steve still wanted him.  
“You sure it was the coffee you liked? You sure it was the coffee you wanted to taste?”  
He licked a strip up Steve’s neck and the blonde gasped, hands crawling up Bucky’s spine.  
He nibbled at the soft skin, sucking it in his mouth greedily, Steve bucked in reply, his hips were shifting, minuet thrusts.  
The hands on Bucky’s skin gripped hard, clinging to the flesh tightly. Then they were kissing, full on lips smacking and sliding kissing. Bucky’s hands were gripping Steve’s face as he rocked on his lap, the blonde was just as eager, hands parting Bucky’s hair and tugging on the tufts as his chest heaved.  
Steve’s brain overrid proceedings and he stood bolt upright dropping Bucky to the floor.  
“Oww fuck!”  
He gripped his body, clenching his teeth together hard enough for his jaw to shake.  
“Sorry, I’m sorry. We can’t do this-it’s too soon after. I don’t wanna hurt you-”  
“Jesus Steve, I’m only hurting coz you threw me off.”  
“I’ll get you some ice.”  
Bucky really did want to scream at Steve, tell him he didn’t need ice, ice wasn’t going to heal his raging hard on and wounded pride. Even so, when Steve appeared with a sad smile and peas in an outstretched hand, Bucky took them and curled up on the sofa, with an unwanted gap between the two of them. The concerned eyes of doctor Rogers were on him again.

__________________________________________________________________________________________

 

It was the next night he got the dreaded phone call from Pierce, he scampered to the bathroom to take it, whispering down the phone.  
“Yeah, I’m here.”  
There was a loud sigh on the other end, it crackled the receiver, “we need to meet.”  
“Where? When?”  
“The Five Bells and ten minutes ago.”  
The line went dead.  
“Buck? You okay?”  
He sat on the closed toilet rocking back and forth, “yeah, was just Tina.”  
“What did she want?”  
He unlocked the door, fitting his emotionless mask in place, “just wants me to sign some sick leave papers, I shouldn’t be long.”  
He pushed passed, grabbing his jacket from the sofa.  
Steve stopped him with a firm grip to his shoulder, “I’ll come too.”  
“No-It’ll do me good to get out on my own.”  
The blonde’s face crumpled, the worry line above his nose cratered his skin. Bucky leaned in quick, sealing their lips together, then he was off.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The first time he had ever gone to the to the five bells he was sinking low on guilt and disgust. People had been chanting his name, wanting to discuss the fight with him in all its gory detail, all he wanted to do was get home, collapse on the sofa and remind himself he was doing it for a good reason.  
He shoved at the door, plodding inside, he looked over to the darkened corner where he’d first kissed Steve. Where Steve had caught him out and pinned him against the wall. Now Steve avoided eye contact and kept two feet away from him at all times.  
He glanced away, settling his attention on the circular table in the middle.  
“Sit Bucky.”  
He sat down opposite Pierce who was looking at him with a mixture of annoyance and curiosity.  
“You know why I had to punish you?”  
He nodded to his shoes.  
“We made an agreement, I helped your sister, its not my fault she didn’t value what you gave her. Our arrangement still stands.”  
He nodded again. Pushing the image of his sister aside, he couldn’t afford to swing for Pierce, there were others hovering in the room and they were certainly armed.  
Pierce was up, circling the table, there was a distinct clicking sound, nothing like the cocking of a gun but a chunky metal.  
A chain, with huge steel links was put over his head, not pulled tight, but the weight of it and the threat had his heart thundering to life. He curled his hands into fist determined not to react.  
“Those Rumlow’s aren’t too happy with me, less so now you beat their idiot son.”  
The links clicked round his chest, tightening slowly, he stayed still, fixing in place his emotionless mask.  
“I despise them, lumbering around like rats with no direction. They make my life difficult and yet I have to keep them sweet.”  
The chain was up, high on his throat, putting pressure on his windpipe. No enough for panic, but it was a uncomfortable game of power.  
“Guess I have to keep them sweet one last time” The chain went slack and Bucky’s head bent down, he turned it side to side, a very audible clack sounded out in the room.  
“You still owe me one more fight Bucky, one more fight and you’ll be free, the redhead will be free and so will the doctor.”  
The snarling man was daring him to bark back, he knew he couldn’t, not with Nat and Steve on the line.  
“When?” He croaked at the table top.  
“Saturday 16th, I’ll text you where.”  
That gave him 10 days to recover well enough for another hail of punches.  
He frowned at the table, “not the pits?”  
Hands began rubbing his shoulder, hot breath on the back of his neck, “Not the pits, last fight, we might as well make it special for everyone.”  
“What do you want me to do?”  
The hands stilled, nails dug cavity’s into his skin, “Twenty minutes.”  
“Then what?”  
“I need you to last twenty minute, win, lose...walk away. It doesn’t matter, lets just see if you can give me twenty.”

 

He couldn’t remember the rest of the night, he knew he’d left the Five Bells, he was pretty sure he had bought two bottles of bourbon and starting swigging from the bottle as he walked back...but that was about it. He didn’t even know whether he was drinking out of despair or relief. He wasn’t dead, Pierce hadn’t given him another pounding. Twenty minutes...it wasn’t the most difficult of requests...

__________________________________________________________________________________

 

He woke with heat at his back and throbbing between his temples.  
“Bloody hell.”  
The mass of heat behind him shifted, “you deserve that headache you know.”  
“No one deserves this.”  
He shifted, cracking an eye open and cursing.  
“What happened?”  
“You came home pretty damn drunk.”  
There was that word again, home, but he couldn’t dwell on it, he was hung-over, the worst possible time to think about something important.  
He blinked the room in, squinting at the overly white tiles, white fittings and white door.  
“Owww.”  
“You’re an idiot.”  
“Yeah well, thought you knew that by now.”  
His back was to Steves chest, leaning against the blonde mans shoulder, two sets of legs stretched out on the floor.  
“You had quite a night with your boss?”  
Bucky’s gut squirmed, and he was bordering on chucking up before his brain kicked into gear.  
“Yeah, Tina can drink me under the table.”  
There was a disapproving huff behind his head and Bucky couldn’t help but smile. Steve voice was closer, tickling his ear.  
“Don’t think I like this Tina.”  
“Nah she’s nice, blonde hair, blue eyes, kinda the woman version of you.”  
Steve stiffened, breath’s from the blonde were being puffed in the crock of Bucky’s neck. It was almost intimate, Bucky had tried to get Steve to show some kind of desire other than checking the pulse on his wrist and blood pressure of his arm. One mention of ‘Tina’, and his arms were tightening and he was shuffling into Bucky’s skin.  
There was a kiss, the lightest of touches, and then another one edging round his throat, where the chain had been only a day before.  
He swallowed the nausea away pulling away from Steve’s grip.  
“I could really do with a shower, thanks for all this...”  
He didn’t just mean staying up with him, he meant Steve in his entirety. The blonde just looked at him with a frown and left the room.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

He was not going to spent the next ten days in the depths of depression. Pierce had asked him to fight, he knew it was coming and instead of demanding he win, he was allowed to walk away after 20 minutes. Jump around for 20 minutes, climb out the ring and return to Steve with the weight of the world gone. Achievable...possibly. He had nine days to prepare or nine days to enjoy Steve...  
“I’m going to the coffee shop to see Tina.”  
Steve had been slouching, one leg up on the sofa, the sound of Bucky’s voice had him suddenly tense.  
“Why you need to go again?”  
Bucky faced away, sly smile creeping up his face, “says she’s got some good herbal stuff for my ribs...”  
Steve scoffed, “medical painkillers will help, none of that alternative stuff.”  
Bucky shrugged, biting his cheek to ensure his smile couldn’t be heard in his voice, “I dunno, the stuff she put on last time kinda helped.”  
Steve stiffened, forehead frowning, “what?”  
“Yeah, some ancient recipe for pain, it was quiet relaxing, and she likes to play nurse.”  
The blonde was shifting on the sofa, “you don’t need a nurse when you’ve got a doctor.”  
Bucky shrugged, burrowing his arms into his jacket, “you’re a doctor to everyone, I think she sees herself as my own personal nurse.”  
Steve was flexing his jaw, fingers twitching at his sides, “what exactly does she do?”  
Bucky’s hand was on the door handle, a cheeky smiles playing on his lips. “She just asks me where I’m aching and offers to make it feel better.”  
Steve whistled air through his nose, Bucky bit his lip not to laugh.  
“She touches you?”  
Bucky flexed his face, pulling it into an innocent expression, he turned back to Steve. “Not in an inappropriate way...”  
Steve was standing, arms bulging over his chest. He was angry, beyond angry, he was fuming.  
“Likes to do it herself though, I told her I could rub it in but she wasn’t letting up.”  
Bucky yanked open the door, he took two steps out before being gripped by Steve and shoved by his jacket against the wall.  
“What is it Steve?”  
Fingers were digging into his hips, pinning him hard.  
“Stop it.”  
Bucky popped his mouth open, “stop what? I’m not doing anything.”  
“I don’t like it.”  
Bucky patted his chest reassuringly, “it’s fine, she’s an ex nurse that’s all-“  
Steve was shaking his head, nostrils flaring.

 

Bucky opened his mouth to stoke the fire some more, but he didn’t need to, Steve was a raging inferno, demanding entry to his mouth and dragging him back through the door.  
Steve was on him again. Bucky was so fucking happy he could’ve punched the air. The hands gripping his skin were relentless, tugging the leather jacket off and throwing it on the floor. Next his shirt was ripped off in one motion before being trampled on. Possessive Steve was so bloody hot.  
He didn’t stop with Bucky’s top half, his hands were attacking his belt, unlatching it with a clunk and a growl.  
All the brunette could do was poster himself up against the wall and try not to drop down it.  
Steve’s hand was on him while he kissed and licked every piece of skin he could get too. Bucky was a quivering mess at the onslaught, he had been consumed utterly by Steve for days, the sight of him, the smell, the voice but he had been out of reach.  
Now he was actually being touched by him, he thought he might combust. His lungs heaved, burning fire muted by the pleasure in his pants. Steve wasn’t mucking about, this was no tease, he brought Bucky to the edge without stopping once, pushing him over while sinking his teeth in the brunettes lip. 

 

Bucky was gasping for air on his come down, Steve’s sticky hand was gripping Bucky’s thigh, the desperation that gripped the blonde was slowing, he was leisurely licking at Bucky’s lips, drawing away with each second. Steve froze, haze of desire lifting.  
“Please Steve, Fuck me.”  
He pressed the words into Steve’s lips and all he could do was swallow them. They were kissing again, lips sliding against each other. Hands skimming and groping.  
Steve leaned back, uncertain look on his face. His brow scrunched up, jaw shifting from side to side.  
Bucky couldn’t help but groan in frustration, “Steve I’m fine, I really fucking want this.”  
He was grinding on Steve’s leg, he couldn’t be bothered to feel ashamed by it, it felt good and Steve’s breathing was catching in his throat.  
“I’ve waited long enough for you.”  
Steve shook his head, creases split his brow, even though his mind was saying no his body was reacting, rocking in time with Bucky’s movement.  
He groaned, crushing Bucky against the door, his hands started travelling down, Bucky was so relieved he threw his head back and laughed.  
The hands stopped, stroking over the purpled skin. Steve sucked a breath through his teeth before moving away.

 

“Jesus Steve, I’m not going to break, I’m not fragile.”  
Steve sprinted across the room, sealing himself inside the bathroom.  
“There’s no rush, I’m not going to risk hurting you.” He mumbled through the door,  
Bucky yanked up his pants, squirming at the coolness. He stalked up to the bathroom with a sex starved groan.  
“You’re hurting me now by not wanting me.”  
“Jesus Buck, of course I want you.”  
Bucky’s fist collided with the door with a thud, “let me in, show me you do.”  
There was no reply, Bucky scratched his nails down the door like a desperate cat.  
“Come on Steve.”  
This time there was a reply, not the one Bucky wanted but the sound of the shower being turned on.  
He howled to the door one last time before collapsing down on the sofa squeezing his sides, they really were starting to ache.  
_________________________________________________________________________

Steve was at work, not due back for another few hours. Bucky had swung for the bag a few times but the whole effort of throwing his left hook drained every ounce of energy. He couldn’t last if he was a heaving mess within minutes. His best option was to be evasive, not the greatest sight for the crowd but it would keep him alive.  
He slipped on his sweat pants, jogging on the spot to warm up, he needed stamina for dodging and weaving, that’s what he had to practice.  
He jogged round the block, passed the coffee shop that Steve refused to enter, his route took him in a rectangle. His plan was to run it five or six times.  
He lasted two, and even then it was a generous two, he had to crawl to the door of the apartment, gasping for air, arms tucked round his middle protectively.

 

“Bioniiic Bucky.”  
He squeezed his eyes at the voice, “what do you want?”  
Rumlow leaned against the wall next to him, “you’re not looking-well-Buc.”  
“Could say the same for you...actually if anything I think I improved your face.”  
Rumlow growled, fingers coming up to touch his jaw, prodding the damage.  
“It hurtsss like a bitch.”  
“You really know how to put a smile on my face....can you do that? Still smile?”  
“It would be so easssy ‘ kick you in the ribs.”  
Bucky titled his head, squinting at the slurring man, “you confident I’m not going to launch up and smash you in the face?”  
There was a flicker of something in Rumlows face, wariness.  
“Your doctor not around?”  
“Stay away from Steve or I’ll re-break that jaw of yours.”  
He realised how utterly un-intimidating that sounded when he was lying in a heap on the floor, breathing the words out while hugging his stomach.  
“Relax, no interest in the good doctor, I just didn’t like you brushing me off. It was a fight, and you weren’t giving it your all-“  
“Maybe I didn’t need to give my all to beat you.”  
Rumlow pushed off from the wall with a laugh, “ ‘ as easy as mentioning your sister for you to turn into the animal you are.”  
Bucky snorted, muscles coiling, ready to spring. He was vibrating, whole body consumed by repressed fury.  
“Try to ussse that anger when you’re in the ring.”  
“You giving me advice Rummy, how sweet.”  
“I just don’t want it to be over too quiccck, we’ll all be there.”  
Bucky smirked, “Big Rumlow daddy gunna be there is he?”  
“Yeah, will be sipping champagne curtesssy of Pierce while we watch your last breath.”  
Bucky shuffled on the wall, anger dispersing and leaving him tired, “sounds almost romantic.”  
“Make the most of your last few days Buc”, Rumlow crouched, leaning in, “Pierce has promised it’s going to be a fight to remember.”  
He stayed sat on his heels, watching the cars and people pass. An itching had started in his brain, twenty minutes was seeming more and more impossible especially when he had no idea who he was fighting.

 

“You lose your keys?”  
Bucky blinked fast, rubbing his temples, “what?”  
“Why you sat out here?”  
He took Steve’s offered hand, stumbling up on aching legs, they had gone numb from the odd position he perched in.  
“I just needed some air.”  
“You could’ve just opened a window, not sat outside half dressed.”  
He had removed his vest on the second circuit, tying it round his waist, he hurriedly climbed into the material.  
“I’ve got some numbers.”  
“Well you’re a hot doctor, I’m surprised your apartments not wallpapered with them.”  
“Not for me you idiot.”  
Bucky walked in the flat, heading to the kitchen, splashing his face with water from the tap, “you getting fed up of me already, trying to palm me off on someone else.”  
Arms circled his waist, not squeezing just caging, he felt Steve’s forehead rolling on his shoulder.  
“Defiantly not fed up with you, numbers of people you could -you-know. Talk to.”  
Bucky wanted to throw his head back and groan at the ceiling, once Steve got an idea in his head, he sure did go on about it.  
“I’m not crazy Steve, I don’t need to speak to anyone.”  
“I just think it will help you sort your head out.”  
He twisted in Steve’s grip, returning the not-quite-hug. “I didn’t get any blows to my head, it’s working fine.”  
“Your behaviour, it’s been erratic...”  
To hell with this shit. He leaned forward, pushing his lips against Steve’s hard and sloppy. It was returned for a few heart stopping seconds before Steve pulled away sharply.  
“You hungry?”  
“I’m very hungry for the blonde in front of me.”  
Steve’s eyes were alight, his tongue lashed at his lips but he still pulled away from Bucky, turning to root through the fridge.  
Bucky pulled a pissed off expression to the blondes back before sighing dramatically.  
“Go, sit. I’ll make something?”  
Steve spun round with a raised eyebrow, “seriously, after last time...I didn’t realise spaghetti could burn...”  
“You told me you loved it.”  
Steve blushed hard, sticking his face inside the fridge, “I love that you tried.” he mumbled.  
“Well that’s just great...Jerk.”

_________________________________________________________________________

 

He wasn’t going to make it a habit to follow Rumlows advice, but he had a few days of clarity before things got hairy. He wanted to spend them well, preferably in bed with Steve inside him. So far he hadn’t broken down Steve’s doctor resolve. He knew it was there, just below the surface, but Steve was too good of a person to unleash it. The last night before the fight and he was going all out to seduce his man.  
For nostalgic reasons he decided the best way to do it was with coffee, well not coffee exactly but the uniform. The uniform minus pants and shirt. He was standing stark naked in Steve’s apartment wearing just his apron.  
The door scratched with the key and Bucky pushed aside feeling like a dick and stuck his most seductive smile on his face. He thought it had been a success when Steve’s mouth dropped open and his entire face turned red.  
“What’s your order today Dr Rogers?”  
He used his most purring voice, the one he knew could make Steve’s heart pick up.  
Steve’s mouth flapped desperately a few times and Bucky was feeling pretty damn smug with himself. All until Sam joined Steve in the doorway.

 

“Ah man, this isn’t the kinda party I thought we were having.”  
Bucky was retreating, careful not to spin around, “Um-yeah.”  
He clicked the door of the bedroom closed, still listening to the hysterical chuckling of Sam. It wasn’t often that Bucky got embarrassed, but he was pretty sure every inch of skin was glowing red and the anticipation of great sex had been forgotten instantly.  
Steve pushed through the door-still bright as a tomato, Bucky groaned, this wasn’t the flustered Steve, this one was genuinely embarrassed for Bucky’s actions

.  
“Please don’t say anything, I feel like an idiot.”  
Steve nodded with a pout, god Bucky hated being on the other end of this.  
“Think you’ve given Sam quite a sight to remember.”  
“That wasn’t exactly what I was going for...”  
Steve was rocking on his feet, fingers flexing. Then they settled on his hips with a sigh.  
“I invited Sam round tonight-“  
“Yup, that’s pretty obvious.”  
Steve shot him a sad smile, “I’d really like it if you two got on.”  
“Mmm Hmm.”  
“Annnnd I’ve invited Nat too.”  
Bucky flopped back on to the bed, rubbing at his eyes, “right...”  
“I know you miss her Buck.”  
It was the truth, but he wanted to wait till after his final fight before making it up to her.  
“We’re gunna watch some movies, eat some pizza...you up for it?”  
Bucky peaked through the gaps in his fingers, Steve’s face was twitching, blue eyes shinning as he waited for an answer.  
“Sure Steve, anything for you.” he breathed.  
The blonde beamed in reply, rocking back on his feet before jumping forward, leaning down over Bucky and planting a firm kiss to his lips.  
“Thank you.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve wasn’t sure whether Bucky was actually going to come out from the bedroom. Sam continued to smirk and shake his head, adding to the blondes distress. He had planned this little get together for Bucky’s sake, to get him talking and socialising. He hadn’t mentioned Nat for weeks; they had been so close yet he had seemingly cut her out.  
> The brunette appeared just as there was a knocking at the door. Nat took a step in and froze with a sad smile. A tension lingered in the air, one that worried Steve, Bucky drew his eyes up from the floor with a creased brow. She skipped over, engulfing Bucky in a huge hug, laying a kiss on his slapped cheek. Steve could breathe again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AU Steve/Bucky  
> Unbeta'd so typo's  
> back to Steves.  
> Thanks for reading :)

Steve wasn’t sure whether Bucky was actually going to come out from the bedroom. Sam continued to smirk and shake his head, adding to the blondes distress. He had planned this little get together for Bucky’s sake, to get him talking and socialising. He hadn’t mentioned Nat for weeks; they had been so close yet he had seemingly cut her out.  
The brunette appeared just as there was a knocking at the door. Nat took a step in and froze with a sad smile. A tension lingered in the air, one that worried Steve, Bucky drew his eyes up from the floor with a creased brow. She skipped over, engulfing Bucky in a huge hug, laying a kiss on his slapped cheek. Steve could breathe again.  
“You still hurting?”  
“Think the slap hurt more than the punches.”  
She released her grip, “I was really worried.”  
There was a quiver in her voice and Steve was quick to lead Sam away, over to the kitchen where the pizza boxes waited.

 

“Sooo him living here, is it permanent?”  
Steve glanced back over to Bucky who was doing his best to sooth a concerned Nat.  
“Haven’t really spoken about it.”  
“You want him to though?”  
There was a definite flush growing up his neck.  
Sam laughed, raising a slice of pizza up, “he really done with all this fighting stuff?”  
“He goes back to the coffee shop next week.”  
Sam frowned while chewing a mouthful, “ain’t that a bit soon.”  
“His boss only gave him three weeks.”  
He really did sound like a brat when he spoke about her.  
“The boss that’s obsessed with him?”  
He twirled around red faced, making sure the other two weren’t listening. Why the hell did he tell Sam stuff.  
“I never said obsessed.”  
Sam laughed, filling his mouth with another bite of Pizza.  
“What’s so funny?”  
Nat moved near silently, it was actually quite unnerving, Sam managed to drop his pizza slice at her sudden arrival.  
“Just talking about the boss that’s got it bad for him.”  
Sam pointed to where Bucky was standing, the brunettes ears pricked up.  
Nat groaned loudly, “Jesus Bucky, it was odd enough with the camera, what she done now.”  
Steve’s brain stuttered to life, “Camera?”  
“Yeah get this, she let Bucky put up a punch bag with one condition, there was a camera facing it.”  
The itch in Steve’s gut was growing again, he shifted, trying to fix his face into a smile of amusement.  
Sam chuckled, “oh dear Steve, you’ve got some competition.”  
His fingers were flexing at his side as he released an unconvincing laugh. Then suddenly Bucky was by his side, knotting their fingers together and giving a squeeze. The brunette stared straight ahead and their joined hands were hidden from view.  
A warmth grew in Steve’s chest, this wasn’t cocky Bucky praying on Steve’s jealousy, he was genuinely trying to ease his uncertainly.  
“So what was it?”  
Bucky hummed at Nat, “oh just, um- being a concerned boss.”  
Nat flicked her head, trying to get Bucky to keep talking.  
“She offered to help me out, but I told her I’ve got Steve to do that.”  
Steve was riding high on happy feelings, Bucky’s thumb was brushing against his and he couldn’t help but grin at the contact.  
“God, get a room.” Sam mumbled.  
Bucky pouted in reply, “was planning on this room, the bedroom, the bathroom but then you showed up.”  
For a heart stopping moment Steve thought Sam would take offense but he grinned wide with a smirk.  
“The apron really suited you-”  
Nat held up her hand, “wait what?”  
“Yeah, we got here and your boys standing there, only that coffee apron on.”  
Irrational as it was, Steve didn’t like Sam suggesting Bucky belonged to the red head, if anyone he belonged to...Steve really had to rein in the over the-top-boyfriend.  
Nat giggled into her hand, “Aww buck, you trying hard to get laid.”  
She leaned forward, pinching Bucky’s cheeks with pursed lips.  
“Maybe Tina will be more up for it.”  
Steve swallowed hard, it was a playful dig but god that didn’t feel nice.  
“Well I don’t want Tina, and I’ll wait till Steve’s ‘up for it.’”  
God, he knew just what to say to douse those flames.  
Nat and Sam moved to the couch, switching the TV on.  
Bucky lingered in the kitchen, he drew their conjoined hands up, giving Steve’s knuckles a kiss.  
“Come on, movies waiting.”  
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Sam and Nat sat on one couch, munching away on pizza, Bucky and Steve were on the other.  
Bucky nibbled a slice of pizza before returning it to his plate with a sigh.  
“Sorry, I should’ve asked you what you liked?”  
Bucky tilted towards him, “Steve its fine-just not hungry.”  
“You’ll tell me if you want something later-”  
“Seriously Steve, I’m alright.”  
It was an odd response, he hadn’t actually asked Bucky how he was feeling as such...

 

The first film they watched, the four of them spoke the whole way through it, laughing at the poor acting and the god awful plot. Sam really did have the most awful taste in films. It was an ice-breaker though- they were all joking and laughing with each other with ease.  
The second film Bucky got distant, he began his odd staring into space with a frown.  
Steve was up, walking to the kitchen with speed. He swung open a cupboard, reaching high for the bourbon.  
Bucky jumped, surprised when Steve returned, blinking fast as if unaware the blonde had even left.  
“Here.”  
Bucky took the glass with a sad smile, swirling the amber liquid in a whirlpool. He placed it on the table in front, not taking a sip.  
Steve was worried he’d done something wrong, he hesitated, creeping his hand slowly across the space between them. The blue eyes glanced down seeing the movement.

 

He reached forward, linking their fingers and tugging Steve closer till they were side by side.  
Steve bit his lip not to grin like a gleeful child when the brunette leaned closer, resting the side of his head on Steve’s shoulder.  
He could smell the lime shampoo Bucky had used, Steve’s shampoo. It was as if he was slowly claiming the brunette as his.  
He turned his head, feeling the brown stands under his jaw. It was heavenly, a warmth expanded in his chest, water swelled in his eyes. It felt almost like love.

____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

He waved Sam and Nat goodbye at the door all while shooting looks over his shoulder at the sleeping man propped behind. Nat gave him a knowing smile reaching forward and pinching his cheek.  
“Aww doctor Rogers in love.”  
He sharply turned making sure Bucky hadn’t woken at the love word. It was pathetic Steve still flushed hard at it. It was too exposed, feelings laid bare. Steve wasn’t sure he was ready for that.  
He clicked the door shut, walking the room as quiet as possible, gathering up the pizza boxes, glasses and plates.  
Bucky looked so peaceful, but he knew that position wouldn’t do him any favours. A cramped up neck wouldn’t be appreciated in the morning.

 

Steve shook his shoulder till he woke slurring, “Whhaaa?”  
“You can’t sleep like that, will kill your neck.”  
Bucky rubbed at his face, breathing into his hands with a yawn, “yeah, I’m up, I’m up.”  
Steve backed away, stopping at his bedroom, he watched the dozy looking brunette stumbled up from the couch. Clicking his body as he stretched out his neck and torso.  
The sight had Steve’s mouth suddenly dry, he swiped his tongue round his teeth.  
“You-you need some more painkillers before bed.”  
His face heated at the word bed, thank god the lights were off and it was only the glow of the television illuminated the room.  
“Thas a good idea.”  
Bucky dragged his feet, clomping towards the kitchen, his hand continued to rub at his face. He picked a glass off the counter which happened to be Steve’s used one and filled it with water. Steve felt a shot of electricity flow to his toes, how could the fact he was using Steve’s dirty glass be arousing.

 

Steve just watched, hidden in the darkness like he had back at that bar. Able to observe just how stunning the man in front of him was.  
He took long audible gulps of the water, finishing with a swipe with his arm across his face. The brunette paused, Steve was sure he was going to twirl around and smile smugly catching Steve in the act, but he didn’t.  
Steve stilled his breathing, didn’t move a centimetre in case his clothing crinkled. Bucky ran a hand through his sleep stuck hair, finishing with a grab of his neck, elbow in the air. His arm bulged at the odd position, the muscle clearly showing. Instead of a dry mouth, saliva was now flooding on Steve’s tongue, he daren’t swallow in case the Bucky heard.

 

Bucky had been in the apartment for three weeks, the first Steve was so worried, lust evaporated. He was on edge waiting for the other man to break down. The second week the flirting started, the attempted seductions. They were difficult to ignore, every shred of Steve’s self-control had been pushed to the limit.  
Bucky’s behaviour was the one thing that Steve threw to the front of his mind in those moments of lust. His emotional state was a yoyo.  
He flitted from flirty and smug, to distant, staring into a corner of the room with a sad frown. Steve had wanted so badly to ask him what he was thinking, but he hoped Bucky would just open up without Steve forcing it.  
Mental state aside, It was obvious he was still in pain, but he was moving about more, taking regular walks to the coffee shop he worked at. Steve didn’t like Tina his boss, less so after the little revelation about the camera he’d heard from Nat.  
He was actually considering warning Tina off, threating sexual harassment, but that was going too far into over-protective boyfriend zone. They hadn’t even discussed what they were.

 

Bucky spun round, still gripping his neck, he startled at the sight of Steve.  
“Jeeesus, thought you’d gone to bed.”  
Bucky breathed a laugh, placing his palm against his chest, above his heart. How badly did Steve want to feel that heart pumping beneath him, jolting his body with shots of blood.  
“Steve you ok? I’m sorry I fell asleep.”  
He coughed to the floor to ease his throat, “nah its fine, it was nice.”  
“Sam doesn’t seem too bad.”  
“He’s a good guy.”  
Bucky rubbed at his eyes, “well I’m feeling beat” he gestured to his room, “see ya in the morning.”  
“Not if I see you first.”  
Heat rose in Steve’s cheeks, what an idiot thing to say, he was expecting Bucky to pout, or purr, but instead he pushed through the door with another sigh.

 

Steve couldn’t move, he stayed breathing hard with his back to his own door. Want was flowing through his veins, he shot a look at the bathroom, that was where he was forced to trap himself last time need like this surfaced.  
He’d wanted so badly to have Bucky up against the wall, but that could’ve damaged his ribs, especially when he was riding on a possessive streak. He was forced to jump in a freezing cold shower to control his urge. He sat in a heap, shiver for a least thirty minutes before he had control over his mind again. When he flicked the lock he’d held his breath, expecting Bucky to barge in and demand sex but the brunette was curled in a protective ball on the couch, eyelids shut.  
The television continued to flash, it had a strobe lighting effect, each flash of color Steve had edged along the wall, seemingly jumping closer to Bucky’s door.  
His hand was poised, ready to burst open and...  
Steve knew exactly what he wanted to do, but just in case things went south he needed a good reason for bursting in, other than sex.  
The remote, he could ask Bucky where the remote was, that was a good enough reason to disturb him.

 

He tugged the handle down, applying the smallest’s of pressures so he could peek through the gap.  
Bucky was lying in the bed, sheet just resting on his midriff, chest bare. He was facing the door, face blissfully relaxed, delicate eyelashes fanned on his cheek bones.  
Steve opened the door wider, wanting to see more. He was beautiful, breathtakingly so. The blonde shifted, light from the TV was passing around him, his body formed a shadow on the bed. He moved to the right, so Bucky’s face was lit up.  
After a few minutes of glaring with his nails digging into his palms the brunettes face scrunched up, eyelashes threatened to open at the intrusion of brightness. Steve moved fast, shutting the door with a near silent click.  
He had sealed himself in the room with sleeping beauty, there was only so much lust Steve could repress.

 

He tugged at his shirt, bringing it over his head and letting it fall to the ground. Next was his pants which he shuffled with difficulty out of, there was a rather bulging obstacle to get them over. He remembered to remove his socks, socks and sex were a pretty odd combo.  
The whole time he undressed he pinpointed his ears to hear the sound of Bucky shifting, stirring. He didn’t, completely unaware Steve was in the room standing very aroused in front of him.  
He stepped carefully closer to the bed, in full on stealth mode, he held his breath as he perched at the edge, bed compressing to accommodate his weight.  
Bucky shifted, Steve froze. Even breaths sounded out once again in the space.  
Steve pinched the corner of the sheet, pulling it away from Bucky’s body, he slid his body against the brunettes, skin rubbing together. Bucky was so bloody soft, and his skin was hot like fire.

 

The even breaths halted, followed by a gasp of surprise.  
Steve rolled Bucky on to his back and climbed on top, erection hot and hard against the sleepy mans thigh. He seeked those plump lips out in the dark and starting licking at them, tasting them, not the mad rush of days ago, he wanted to take his time and enjoy them.  
Their lips were sliding, tongues circling unrushed. Bucky’s hand were on his back, not gripping and clinging, just holding Steve in place as they kissed. His mouth was soft like silk and Steve was getting drunk on the feeling, the taste of Bucky. He pulled back, licking a line across the collar bone, taking in the slightly salty taste of his skin.  
Bucky was breathing relaxed happy sighs at the sensation, tilting his head so Steve could climb higher, laying open-mouthed kisses up his neck, across his jaw and back on his mouth.  
Steve was rocking down, rubbing his straining erection against the other mans, he knew he was getting slick, could feel the stickiness on their legs.

 

He couldn’t help but pant, and groan at the motion, kissing eagerly. He was caught between wanting to do so much to Bucky and not pulling his mouth away from those perfect lips ever. He pressed down with his teeth, letting the plump flesh go with a pop. He did it again and again, groaning louder each time he did, grinding with more desperation. Fuck foreplay, that had gone on far too long.  
He pulled away sharply, trying to lessen the dizziness clogging his brain. His hand shot out, patting the floor to find his pants.  
He dragged them up on the bed while Bucky squirmed beneath him, rubbing himself against Steve’s leg.  
The wallet was yanked out, flipped open. And the blonde’s face flushed, the stupid condom was still in his fucking car.  
Bucky rolled him off seemingly understand why proceedings just stopped. He pulled at the drawer by the bed, clutching two objects and placing them beside him. A condom and small bottle of lube.

 

He didn’t thrust them in Steve’s hand, didn’t begin prepping himself. He placed them on the bed, a gesture that it was up to Steve, he wasn’t going to force it on him but he was there for the taking if Steve wished.

 

Steve couldn’t snatch them up fast enough, his body was trembling with such want he had to rest his forehead on Bucky’s chest for a few seconds. Hands cupped the back of his head, fingers dragging through his hair making him shiver. He crawled his way up again, attacking that mouth, the one the accepted his kisses so willingly, opened up with the briefest of probing. He got the lube ready, slipping it along his finger, he sunk his teeth into Bucky’s lip as he pushed in with one digit.

 

The brunette moaned, hands gripping on to Steve shoulders for support. He let the lip go with a pop, flexing his finger inside, Bucky groaned and shifted under him. He added another finger, this time sliding his tongue insides Bucky’s mouth as he did.  
He really did want to add one more, just to be sure Bucky was well stretched, but the gasping and moaning escaping the brunettes savaged lips was too much. Steve’s brain and body was consumed by the man beneath him.  
He slid himself in, as deep as he dared, the man under him arched his back, shoulders coming of the mattress before settling back down. They both had to pull their lips away from each other and just breath, pant to gain some control. A few seconds of rolling his head on Bucky’s chest, and he was able to seek out those lips again, cherish them as he rocked back and forth. He didn’t want to rush it, the feeling was intense, overwhelming, he had to pause a few times just to keep hold of reality, he was getting swept away on waves of pleasure.

 

The whole time they didn’t speak, they communicated with gasps, split breaths and moans. They didn’t need words, their bodys fitted together perfectly, all the focus was on touch and taste, words would only dampen the experience.  
He came with a gasp, a few thrusts after Bucky, he pushed his face into the brunettes neck and just breathed him in, feeling the sheen of sweat that was now on Bucky’s skin, the sweat he’d made appear.  
Other days he wanted to fuck Bucky hard and fast, every surface in the apartment, and especially the coffee shop, that was the number one fantasy place in Steve’s head, he wanted to show Tina, Bucky was well and truly taken.

 

He woke the next morning with a ridiculous smile on his face, he couldn’t physically stop smiling, he tried to scrub the expression on his face away but there was just no removing it.  
The reason for his giddy face was sprawled out on top of him, at some point in the night Bucky had searched him out, lying flush on top of Steve for another bout of kissing.  
After many, many minutes Bucky seemed satisfied and snuggled up into Steve’s neck and stayed put. He managed to dislodge the limpet, rolling him on his side. He stared at the man next to him, marvelling at his face and wanting badly to reach out and stroke those well mauled lips. No, not yet. He was going to fix Bucky some breakfast, he’d barely eaten a thing the night before and Steve was ever the romantic.

 

He creeped from the bedroom on tiptoes, wincing at the quietest of creaks. He was almost at the kitchen when a phone sung to life, he cursed rushing over to the couch to find it.  
Bucky’s phone was chirping, flashing Pierce up on the screen.  
He answered the phone and was suddenly unsure what to say.  
“Um, I’m Steve, Bucky’s-“  
“Ah the good doctor.”  
He spun around in the kitchen, voice surrounding him. The man in the bar, the one who had Bucky beaten.  
He tracked back to the open door checking the sleeping man was safe inside.  
“Why are you phoning him?”  
The man cackled down the phone, “clearly he’s been keeping secrets from you, it’s time me and Bucky finish our agreement.”  
“The agreement ended when you hurt him.”  
“Hmm, that’s not the way I see it.”  
Steve was gritting his teeth, staring with unblinking eyes at Bucky in the bed. “Whatever you want him to do, he’s not doing it.”  
“Bad things will happen if he doesn’t, he knows that.”  
“He’s done with your shit.”  
The man sighed, “Just tell him I’m sending a car to his place at seven, you’re welcome to come to doctor Rogers. He might need you...”  
The line went dead, and Steve prodded the buttons to call him back, to tell that venomous snake to get lost.  
He stopped with a growl, tapping the phone on his head. Worry was seeping and in its place anger was growing.

 

Bucky stirred in the bed, blinking at Steve with a sweet smile.  
Steve couldn’t return it, he stomped back to the kitchen still drumming the phone on his head.  
He couldn’t turn and look at Bucky, all happiness had left his body, and overwhelming bitterness had gripped him. Bucky had been keeping secrets, all the odd behaviour, there had been a reason and yet he hadn’t told Steve. He wasn’t done with the fighting like he’d promised.  
Bucky’s arms wrapped around his waist, the brunettes face nestled into Steve’s neck with a happy sigh.  
“I am well and truly fucked” He kissed the words into Steve’s skin, hands climbing under the blondes shirt.  
“Buck, is there something you want to tell me?”  
Bucky hummed happily, continuing to leave sloppy kisses along Steve’s shoulders.  
“I wanna tell you?, Nope nothing to tell, there’s a lot of things I wanna do to you with my mouth, but no speaking.”  
Steve spun in a circle, Bucky straightened with a frown.  
“You got a call from your boss...”  
Steve shoved the phone at Bucky’s chest, forcing him to stumble backwards. His eyes dropped to his feet, and he gripped the back of his neck, the pose Steve had found so mouth-watering the day before had him reeling back.  
“Look Steve-“  
“Don’t. Just don’t. You’re fighting tonight and you weren’t even going to tell me, you were just gunna go off and not come back.”  
“Of course I’ll come back-“  
“In a flaming body-bag buck.”  
Bucky inched forward, attempting to place his hands of Steve’s hips, they were shrugged off as if dirty.  
“It’s one fight, I can handle it.”  
“Bucky, you’re not fit enough to fight.”  
A smile spread of Bucky’s face, it didn’t lift his eyes though, “I’ll be okay, I’ve got it sorted.”  
Steve growled, yanking the golden strands on his scalp till they hurt.  
“What is your grand plan, hey? How are you going to be alright?”  
He moved passed Bucky, marching straight up to the punch bag.  
“Come on, show me you can hit with your lungs burning.”  
Bucky joined him by the bag, pulling it from Steve’s grip.  
“I don’t need to hit, I’ve just got to be evasive.”  
“Fine, try to move when I hit you.”  
Bucky released the bag, “what?”  
Steve had his fists up, knees bent, “you heard me, dodge out the way.”  
He swung out and Bucky jumped back with an open mouth, “what the fuck Steve?”  
“Come on be evasive.”  
Bucky skipped back, “Steve, stop this.”  
The blonde surged forward and Bucky’s arms shot up protectively, blocking the hit. It really did feel like punching metal.  
The arms dropped, and Bucky backed away again shaking his head.  
Steve stalked forward trying to hit him again, it was blocked and thrown.  
They danced around the apartment, Steve trying to get a hit on target and Bucky brushing them off. Fifteen minutes of surging at Bucky and the brunette was beginning to get sluggish, face red and body heaving, “Steve stop, lets just talk.”  
He pushed forward, Bucky only just got his hands up to cover his face.  
“Not stopping, could do this all day.”  
“It’s my last one, I swear,”  
Steve replied by throwing another fist his way, “said that last time.”  
Bucky twirled out the way, “this time I wont fuck up.”  
“You might not come back.”  
The brunette darted away from another strike, “I will, I’ll come back and never have to do it again.”  
Steve shook his head, tears were starting to swell in his eyes.  
He pushed the heels of his hands into the socket, rubbing at the weakness.  
Bucky was approaching, Steve threw a hit out, truly believing Bucky would sense it and block.  
He didn’t, it shot straight into his stomach making him yelp and fold down to the floor.  
He gritted his teeth, hand held to the area Steve had just struck.

 

A sob escaped Steve’s lips, he took a step toward Bucky on the floor before twirling and retreating to the kitchen.  
“Why Bucky!”  
“I owe him. What do you think happens if I refuse Pierce?”  
Steve shrugged, “if it’s money he wants I’ll pay him off.”  
“It’s my agreement, I’m not involving you with it.”  
Steve lashed out at one of the used plates, sending it clattering to the floor, “I am involved though! I can’t let you put yourself in danger.”  
“You can’t stop me either, I’m going. I have to go Steve, look I know you don’t understand why, but-”  
“Your sister, I read about her at the hospital. That was a very expensive rehab she got herself into, not a place a barista could pay for...”  
Bucky’s mouth had snapped shut at the mention, if Steve wasn’t so angry he would’ve felt guilty for throwing that at him.  
“He agreed to help us-”  
“He only helped himself, people like that only ever help themselves.”  
The brunette settled his hands over his face, breathing deep.  
“What could I do Steve? Turn that chance away. It didn’t seem a bad deal, fighting in exchange for her life. I would’ve kept going, fought hundreds if it kept her safe.”  
Steve took a step closer, “she died a few months after.”  
Bucky released a bitter laugh that felt like ice in Steve’s veins. His palms slid down, emotionless face in place.  
“You care so much about your patients, people you don’t even know. Can you imagine what it feels like to fail someone you do, someone you loved and swore to be there for.”  
Steve stepped tentatively towards the man laying spread eagle on the floor.

 

“After she died, I didn’t want to fight. Pierce wasn’t too pleased I wasn’t fulfilling my part of the deal, it wasn’t his fault she died but I didn’t care, didn’t care if he turned up and shot me like a dog, didn’t care if he had me beaten to death. Nat convinced me to keep going, I couldn’t fight for Becca’s life anymore but I could for mine, to be free of Pierce and the pits.”  
Steve swallowed hard, dropping to his knees, thigh either side of Bucky’s hips.  
“If I don’t fight he will hurt Nat, he’ll hurt you. I’m sorry I’ve brought you into this mess Steve, I knew you were far too good when you started coming to the shop, I knew it was wrong to want you.”  
Steve brought his hands up, trying to unpeel Bucky’s arms from his face. He could hear the sadness in the brunette, the shaking voice. Bucky was determined not to be seen crying.

 

They were fixed to his face, unmovable. His lips weren’t covered though, or his jaw. Steve stopped trying to pry Bucky’s limbs away and lay kisses up his jaw, all the way to his mouth and then he kissed him, full on passionate kiss and Bucky returned it desperately, removing his arms and attaching them around Steve, clinging like he was a drowning man.  
“We’ll figure this out Bucky Barnes.”  
He thumbed away the tears on the brunettes face, giving the most reassuring smile he could muster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fight! Fight! Fight!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After another tear streaming discussion Bucky convinced Steve this was something he needed to do on his own. Steve was a stubborn bastard and obviously didn’t listen, turning up at Bucky’s bedsit with Sam and Nat trailing behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go, last chapter.  
> Steve/Bucky AU  
> changing perspective.  
> Unbeta'd so typos

After another tear streaming discussion Bucky convinced Steve this was something he needed to do on his own. Steve was a stubborn bastard and obviously didn’t listen, turning up at Bucky’s bedsit with Sam and Nat trailing behind him.

 

“Steve this isn’t a good idea.”  
The blonde stood next to him on the pavement with no words. Nat tugged his head down, planting a kiss on his cheek.  
“You are an idiot for not telling me.”  
“And you’re an idiot for coming here.”  
She shrugged in response, “so who has he got you fighting?”  
“No idea, hoping the driver might be able to tell me though.”

 

It all depended on who Pierce had asked to collect him, some of the men in suits occasionally spoke to him, others were intrigued by him, a few he was fairly certain wanted to kill him.

 

The black merc headed up the road towards them and Bucky recognised Greg driving. Jet black hair swept back 50’s style, with small brown eyes. Nat thought he resembled a rat, Bucky thought that was far to harsh on the rodent. Steve made a b-line for the passenger seat but Bucky beat him to it. Sam, Nat and Steve were forced to squeeze into the back.

 

Greg was Bucky’s favourite of Pierces men in suits, there was a chance he could sweet talk him into revealing the mystery fighter.  
“How’s it going Greg, wife good? Family good?”  
Greg sighed dramatically, “same old same old.”  
“Your boy going to be at the fight tonight?”  
Greg flexed his jaw, eyes fixed ahead, “no, not tonight.”  
“So you gonna tell me?”  
“Tell you what?”  
Bucky dug around in the glove compartment, finding the box of cigarettes that was hidden inside. He popped one in his mouth, striking it up.  
“Who I’m fighting.”  
Greg’s eyes flashed to the passenger seat, watching as Bucky took a slow drag on the cigarette, his brown eyes were consumed by black in an instant.  
“You know I can’t do that.”  
“Why not?” he held his hand to his heart. “I swear I’ll act surprised.”  
He twirled the lit stick in his fingers, unsure whether the colour running to Greg’s cheeks was for him or the stick of death.  
“Can you light me one?”  
Bucky chuckled, that dented his ego slightly, he’d always assumed Greg had a slither of interest in him.  
“Sure,” he pulled one out so Greg could see. “If you give me a name.”  
Greg shook his head, shifting in his seat, his eyes were drawn to Bucky puffing in earnest on his cigarette.  
“Buck, you know I can’t.”  
Bucky hid the grimace well, he despised anyone apart from Steve calling him Buck. The car was so silent he’d forgotten there were three people in the back.  
“Come on Greg, you’re my favourite out of all Pierce’s lot...”  
“Your ever the charmer.”  
Bucky did the slyest grin he could muster, “you enjoyed beating me up the least.”  
That got a noise from the back, a growl that sounded suspiciously like Steve’s.  
“Yeah well.”  
“You got a soft spot for me, so come on help me out.”  
Greg shook his head but the sadness in his face spoke volumes. Who ever Bucky was fighting was bad, not even Greg believed he had a hope.  
He spun the box of cigarettes, slotting the one he removed back and chucking it in the glove compartment.  
“Fine be a dick.”  
Greg made a high pitch noise in his throat but Bucky ignored it and chose to stare out the window.  
“That it?”  
“What, I’ve got nothing to bargain.”  
He had no money, no information of his own to supply. He had no leverage what so ever.  
“Your body.”  
There was defiantly a growl from behind, and the sound of rustling clothing. Bucky was frowning in disbelief at the side of Greg’s face.  
“My body? What about your dear wife?”  
Greg shrugged, Bucky observed as his breathing changed, he swallowed loudly in the silence. Ok, perhaps Greg was little bit interested.  
“So what do you want from my body, hand job, you want me to suck you off?”  
He practically slid down in the chair with a whimper, Steve was growling in the back, grappling with Nat who was trying to shush him. Bucky wasn’t interested, surely Steve knew that, he was just trying for information.  
Greg was sweating, licking at his lip as he tried his hardest not to glance at Bucky. He shook his head.  
“No? Tell me what you want then?”  
Greg was hard, his suit trousers left nothing to imagination as he squirmed under Bucky’s relentless gaze.  
“I wanna fuck you.”  
Bucky breathed a shaky laugh, “you want to fuck me?”

 

Steve moved behind him, trying to jump across the car, Nat and Sam managed to get him under control. Steve banged his fist into the back of Bucky’s chair and he finally looked into the mirror to see the three behind. Sam looked wide eyed, Nat had narrowed eyed pointed at Greg’s head and Steve looked just about ready to kill.  
“This is the last chance I’ve got of fucking you.”  
He didn’t have a chance in hell of fucking Bucky, deluded idiot.  
“Why do you say the last time?”  
“Cuz you’re going to die tonight Buck.”  
That felt like a slap to the face, idiotic Greg.  
“Your bedroom talk is terrible.”  
Greg grumbled out a laugh, it was laced with something, almost like regret.  
“Who am I fighting Greg?”  
He knew Steve would hate it but he leaned forward in his seat, bringing his hand to Gregs thigh, not too high though, just enough for Greg to start salivating.  
“Your-your fighting the hulk.”

 

Bucky felt all his confidence leave him in one go, he slumped back in the chair, jaw slack for a few seconds, before springing forward to find the box of cigarettes. He shot a look in the mirror at Nat who had covered her mouth to hold in her squeak.  
“Well that’s me fucked.” He breathed between puffs.  
The rest of the drive was silent, Greg darted looks at Bucky, but they weren’t returned, there was still a definite bulge in his pants, Bucky was too distracted to be outraged.

 

The hulk, a professional bare-knuckle boxer, the most notorious. Undefeated in fifty fights and he fought in the professional tournaments, not the shitty pits. Pierce had asked him to last twenty minutes with him, one hit from the hulk and he was sure to be down and out.  
The car started to slow, coming off the main road to loop round what looked like a school. The gymnasium doors were open, streams of people were making their way inside. He peaked a look through the door, hundreds of people sitting in the stalls, on benches and chairs.  
“He’s invited a lot of people.”  
Bucky refrained from snapping at Greg, it was pretty damn obvious there was a lot of people.  
“The Rumlows?”  
Greg nodded, “Zola’s lot are here too.”  
“Great, the scum of the earth have united to see me die.”  
They circled the building, stopping outside a door that Bucky presumed led to a changing room.  
The doors were unlocked, the three in the back scrambled out fast, Bucky let out a huge sigh, readying himself to put his unaffected face on, Steve already looked concerned, Bucky didn’t want to add to it until it was necessary.  
Greg stopped him leaving with a squeeze to his leg, “how about it?”  
“What?”  
“Let me have you.”  
Bucky laughed savagely before he could tell Greg to go fuck himself the door was yanked open and he practically fell out. Gripped by Steve who pulled him free of Greg’s clutches and pinned him against the wall with a kiss.

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

It was possibly the longest car journey Steve had ever sat through, he was anxious as hell about the fight but that was soon thrown to the background when he took a look at the guy driving.

 

Clearly Greg had some kind of messed up crush on Bucky, his eyes had darkened as soon as Bucky gave him a smile. Steve was sat behind Bucky, and even from his angle he could see the swelling mass in his tailored pants.  
The final straw had been when he said he wanted to fuck him, there was no way Steve was going to let that oath say that, he undid his seat belt, poised to spring across the space and scare Greg off. Thank god Nat and Sam had stopped him, he didn’t want the car to crash and hurt any of them...well if Greg got hurt he didn’t mind so much...

 

Nat had whispered in his ear Bucky was just playing, trying to get information, even so Steve did not like the flirty tone or the thigh grab.  
Once they were out of the car he was vibrating with the need to get Bucky away from that creep and claim him as his.  
He shoved Bucky into the wall, savaging his mouth, he expected Bucky to battle with him, to try to take control of the kiss. He didn’t, he was happy for Steve to take charge and the kiss turned into a more leisurely caress of lips and tongues.

 

Nat coughed, breaking the two men apart.  
“It’s ok Steve, he’s gone.”  
Steve twisted round to make sure the car was disappearing around the corner of the building. He turned back to Bucky, about to apologise but the sad expression he caught had him staring. It was only for a second before Bucky’s blank canvas slid into place.  
“Who’s the hulk?”  
Bucky patted his chest, “come on lets get inside.”  
They filtered into the changing room, nose twitching at the smell of feet and...lacquer. The benches were glowing brown and shinny.  
“Bucky, I’m going to see what I can find out, you coming Sam?”  
Sam sprung up, darting a look between Steve and Bucky before his eyes went wide and he seemed to understand some privacy was needed.  
“Yup, yup, coming.”

 

The door clicked behind them leaving a distracted looking Bucky pacing the room. Steve stopped him with a palm to the shoulder. The brunette turned to him slowly, sadness etched in every line in his face.  
“When they get back, I think you should call for a taxi and go.”  
Steve tried to grip the brunettes hips but he took a step backwards, “I’m not going anywhere.”  
“Steve, this isn’t something you’re gonna want to see.”  
Steve, stepped into Bucky’s space, fingers gripping his hips before he could pull away, “you said you had a plan, you said it wasn’t a hard fight.”

 

Steve hadn’t whole heartedly believed Bucky’s assurances, but twenty minutes didn’t seem so bad, especially if Bucky could dodge and weave like he said he could. He just had to keep his guard up, that’s what’d he said...  
“Steve, I didn’t know who I was fighting.”  
“The hulk? He sounds slow...”  
Bucky breathed a laugh, “not slow, relentless, strong.”  
His tone was defeated, that scared Steve more than anything.  
“Lets just go, the four of us-  
“Are you willing to up and leave your life? That’s what we’d have to do, Pierce wont just let me walk away. He would come after us.”  
Steve released his hips with a bark of mad laughter, “you think he’ll let you go after this?”  
“He’s a bastard but he’s a man of his word.”  
Slow claps echoed in the space, Bucky and Steve froze. Pierce appeared from the shadows.  
“I am a man of my word, you a man of yours?”  
Bucky nodded, sliding himself in front of Steve.  
“The crowds raring, everyone’s here. Time for you to get ready.”

 

The greying man shot a crinkling smile before slotting through the door into the gym. Bucky tugged his hoodie over his head. It had belonged to Steve but the brunette seemed to have become attached to it and that made Steve chest ache with fondness.  
Topless Bucky stood in front of him, winding bandages round his hand with precision. Steve fingers tickled against the purple bruises. His stunning body and all Steve could focus on was the damage.

 

“Come on, lets go.”  
Bucky turned making his way towards the gym door, Steve gripped him, twisted him around pushing his back against the wood. It vibrated from the audience clapping and stomping. Bucky couldn’t pull his eyes to Steve’s face, which was a bloody bad sign.  
Steve’s fingers stoked the brunettes face, tilting it up. As soon as they were level Bucky’s blue eyes scrunched shut and Steve felt like crying. 

 

Their lips met, Bucky wrapped his arms around the back of the blondes neck, pulling him in to deepen the kiss. Steve could’ve stayed like that for eternity, lips sealed over Bucky’s. His hands had attached to the brunettes side and he didn’t want to let go, Buck removed himself from Steve’s arms, eyes fixed to the floor as he pushed through the door.  
A huge roar erupted. The space was cramped, so many people blood thirsty. The huge metal doors to the outside had been shut, light streamed in from the windows at the top of the room. No lights had been switched on, adding to the dank entertainment.  
A boxing ring stood in the middle of the room, a corner was surrounded by the men Steve saw at the bar, Bucky’s loyal fan base. They smiled as he approached until they noticed the dark purple marks that still graced his body.  
Bucky clambered in, clicking his neck both ways as he stared at the changing room door parallel to the one him and Steve had come from.

 

The mass of people started stamping their feet, desperate for the beating to begin. The door opened and Steve understood Bucky’s uncertainty.  
The man was huge, bulging muscles, veins straining to break through skin. His neck was thick like a tree trunk, hands the size of footballs, one hit by one of them and...

 

He swallowed hard, glancing up at Bucky who was no longer watching the approach of the other man, his eyes were on Steve’s, an apologetic expression that crushed the blonde’s insides.  
The hulk climbed into the ring, pushing his enormous chest out. He was a foot taller than Bucky, at least two feet wider. His eyes skimmed over Bucky’s body, settling on the bruises with a growl.

 

He pointed at them with another grumbled, “not fighting someone who’s not fit.”  
Steve literally felt like rushing the hulk and hugging him, Bucky glanced down at his bruises with an open mouth before scanning the crowd. His eyes found their target. Pierce was looking furious.

 

The hulk, huffed, making his way back to the ropes to climb through, relief was swamping Steve in waves, until Bucky shoved the stocky man in the back.  
“Don’t have to be fit to trash you.”  
The crowd who had fallen silent at the hulks words suddenly roared, stamping their feet and punching the air with their fists.  
Steve shouted what the fuck at Bucky but it was lost in the blood thirsty cry’s.  
The hulk turned back to Bucky, watching his face intently, “your funeral pretty boy.”  
“Aww you think I’m pretty?”  
“You wont be when your face is smashed in and you lose all your teeth.”  
Bucky twirled, earning him a roar from his supports, “even without my teeth and a mashed up face I’ll be prettier than you.”  
The hulk smirked, joining Bucky in the middle to bump fists.  
Steve wanted to climb into the ring and throttle Bucky himself.

__________________________________________________________________________________ 

Pierces glare spoke volumes, he needed the hulk to fight him, there was no other option. It was a good job Bucky could play the cocky bastard to perfection. The hulk really did look like he wanted to crush his face.

 

Bucky glanced down, seeing Nat and Sam had joined his band of supporters, Pierce was at his back with his army of suits. He spied out the Rumlow’s who indeed were sipping champagne. He was a lamb to the slaughter and all these grinning sharks were desperate to see it.

 

The fight began, Bucky had his arms arranged in a defensive stance as he hopped around the square.

 

Twenty minutes, that’s all he had to do.

 

The hulk launched a punch, he dodged out the way but the hit that sailed past him disrupted the air flow, chilling his skin.  
That was close, too bloody close.

 

Each punch cracked through the air like a whip, the hulk was quick to recover his arm ready to strike again. Jesus, the power of his punch was incredible and Bucky hadn’t even been brushed by it.  
A punch came close to his chest and he was forced to block it with his arms, taking the impact. The power had the bones in his arm bending, the muscles detaching from bone. He shrieked in pain jumping away.

 

He had to block another hit, his whole arm ached, felt as if it might drop off. He continued to dance around, moving as best he could out of the reach of the muscled man.

 

He pulled his left arm up, covering his chest. The bones in his arm shuddered, splintered. Burning fire erupted from his elbow down. He screamed, biting his teeth together to conceal it. He clutched his arm to his chest, hugging it around his body. His left arm, the one that could’ve helped slow the onslaught was out of action.

 

The hulk threw a palm shot to his face, catching him hard, The brunette stumbled back into the ropes, dizzy and disorientated. Another hit landed on his face, and another. He managed to drag his right arm up and pushed the hulk back so he could escape.  
Shit his face hurt, felt too hot and tight. His vision was narrowing in one eye, he could see the lump of skin pushing up in his cheek, and his eyebrow swelling lower. Shit. His left arm was useless, clutching across his body in a v shape. His right arm was only good for body shots and even then, they weren’t as powerful as his left.

 

The hulk reeled back for another strike, through Bucky’s un-swollen eye he could see it was a face shot. He ducked his head down when the arm jabbed out, it was poor sportsmanship but he didn’t give a toss, breaking his hand with his cranium was the only real damage he could do, and it might just slow the charging animal before him.  
The hulk howled in pain when his fist made contact with Bucky’s skull, the impact vibrated Bucky’s spine, leaving his mind strangely distant.

 

He was staggering, watching the man in front of him clutch at his hand, he was sure he must have broken a few bones, dislocated a knuckle or two, Bucky found his lips pulling up into a grin.  
Pain had left the brunettes body and he felt wonderfully spaced out. He smiled over to Steve and even managed a wave and a giggle, Steve wasn’t laughing, he didn’t get the joke. But it was so fucking funny if only he could remember what it was...  
He stumbled, glancing down at his feet that just didn’t seem to cooperate. He had always been an awful dancer, this was not the time or place to correct it. He shouted down at them and they stopped jittering, the ground stop swaying. He felt pretty damn chuffed with himself, telling his body to behave like that and it listening.

 

He didn’t see the blow coming, he really should of considering he was staring dumbly at the raging man for a second or two. Time was moving really slow and fast at the same time.

 

He just felt a weakness in his body and the sensation of losing air in an instant. He couldn’t help grinning again, turning to find Steve in the masses and giving him the thumbs up.

 

The next hit floored him, he rolled his head against the cool material, pausing for a minute to see droplets of blood pooling together.  
Steve’s voice vibrated in his head, “stay down please.”

 

It was desperate, pleading, he really did have the sweetest sounding concerned voice, but no. He couldn’t stay down, he climbed back to his feet, resting his good arm on his knee for a second before straightening.  
They were back to twirling, Bucky had reined some control back over his body, although sluggish he was quick to read the man attacking him, watching for cues in his body language. The room was swaying and the ringing in his ears had him shaking his head like a dog, but he needed focus on the limbs waving about.

 

It was going well until the hulk seemed to realise what he was doing. He was poised to jab with his right but instead did an uppercut with his left.

 

Bucky didn’t feel his teeth smash together, but his mouth filled with a warm liquid, metallic in taste.  
He fell to his knees, propping himself up with his right arm, hunched over. He breathed great gulps with a slack mouth, allowing red to waterfall out. He frowned at the tic-tac among the scarlet, leaning back to prod at it with a finger. Not a tic-tac, a tooth. His flaming tooth.  
“Ah fuck.”  
He stood with it pinched between his fingers, trying to make his way over to his corner, but it was serious difficult being on a boat and all, he was giggling trying to make his way across the swaying deck.  
Nat was in front of him, well she was down from him. Why was she down there, never mind.

 

He held his tooth out with a sad smile but for some reason he was laughing. “Nat, I’m not pretty no more.”  
She pushed at his calf, and he frowned, a bit pissed off. What the hell? Why was she pushing him away.  
And then the man barrelled past. What’s his name, the hulk... Shit.

 

The haze filling his brain vanished, his body was returned to him in all its aching, stinging, throbbing glory.  
Tooth still clutched in his palm the hulk charged him again. 

 

He managed to move just enough to not take the hit to ribs full on, he glanced over to find Pierce, surely twenty minutes was up. He was so disorientated he couldn’t find Pierce or his army of suits. He did find Rumlow, who raised a glass in salute.

 

Bastard, Hulk was pulling his arm back, Bucky knew he should put his arms up in a defensive stance or hop out the way but his brain cut out, making him stand there frowning, trying to understand why his body felt like it had been run over by a truck.  
He climbed back up to his shaky feet, unsure how he’d fallen to the floor in the first place. He’d lost his tooth and scanned the floor rather than watching the next fist baring down on him.

 

It hit him square in the ribs and he howled the room down, eyes burning with tears, mixing with the blood on his face as they dropped off his body. He couldn’t bring his arm up to defend himself, he was hunched over with his head bowed, just waiting for more pain.

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Steve despised fighting, standing by and watching Bucky getting pummelled was the most horrifying, sole destroying thing he’s seen.

 

Fuck. This.

 

He sprung up, climbing through the ropes. He grabbed Bucky by his good arm and twirled him out the way. He collapsed in a heap behind the blonde. Steve had made himself a wall between the hulk and Bucky.  
The hulk cocked his head at Steve but didn’t try to swing for him, Bucky’s arms clutched around Steve’s calf, his face pressed into the material of his jeans. Steve tried not to notice how wet they became, how much blood was soaking in.

 

“Steve, owwt”  
He continued to stare at the hulk, speaking through gritted teeth to Bucky on the floor.  
“This is stupid, let’s just go, get out of here.”  
Bucky whimpered at his leg, “know I can’t, Pierce.”

 

Exactly what Steve was thinking, where the hell was that evil man, the only man Steve would happily watch inside the ring.  
Bucky hands were crawling up his body, using it as leverage for climbing to his feet. The crowd were getting angry ay Steve’s intrusion, demanding he get the hell out and let the fight continue.

 

Men stormed him, grabbing and dragging him away, pulling him back through the ropes and shoving him into Sam and Nat.  
He growled at them, shrugging off Nat’s arm trying to keep him still, he was stopping this execution one way or another.  
Where was that bastard Pierce, people like that always have a price. 

He twisted trying to find the greying man among the baying men. Another punch landed, he didn’t see, but he heard, the thump and the oooo of the crowd.  
“To hell with this.”  
He dug into his jeans pulling his phone free, Nat clamped her hand over it.  
“You can’t Steve.”

 

He shrugged her off making a tunnel through the masses of goading men. He was going to force this blood bath to end, and deal with Pierce and his stupid arrangement later.  
He got to the steel doors, staring dumbly at them. He dropped the phone down from his ear, rattling the bar to open the door. The two doors were chained together, huge metal links and giant padlock held them shut.  
“What the hell.”  
He twirled around just as the first few people started to notice smoke.  
Both changing room doors were spilling smoke into the room, there was a faint flicker of red glowing under.

__________________________________________________________________________________

He swore a bug had climbed inside his head and was buzzing, he patted his hand over his ears, wanting the persistent buzzing to go away, it was distracting, annoying. He stopped his mad pawing, and pulled his head into gear, he was fighting, that irritating noise needed to wait.

 

He straightened up, cracking his neck. He was alone, the hulk had vanished. He scanned the area feeling a bit too distant for his liking. Colours were blurring outside the ring, a swirl of rushing color that made Bucky want to hunch over and vomit. He couldn’t focus that far, he spun around slowly, trying to find the now invisible Hulk, that was his only concern. Pierce and the stupid twenty minutes, surely that time was up, where was Pierce and his fucking thumb.

 

He blinked tiredly, backing up to a corner so he could sink down and take stock, he really did feel like he was going to throw up, throw up and fall to sleep. How much bourbon had he had? It must be a lot to affect his vision like this, had he had as much as the night Becca died. If so Nat was going to kill him. If he just closed his eyes for a second, the room might come back into focus, and his hearing might sort itself the fuck out. Good plan.

 

Hands were on his face, huge soft hands and he brushed his face into them with a happy sigh. They tugged sharply at the skin under his eye making him wince hard. He forced them open with ten tonnes of effort. 

 

Dazzling blue eyes greeted him framed with worried lines, and that adorable crease at the top of his nose, Bucky really wanted to reach out and smooth it but his arms were far to heavy to work.

 

Bucky stared at the blondes lips, trying so hard to focus and understand what they were trying to say to him. It must be important, Steve was shaking, darting his eyes backward to the swirls of color Bucky couldn’t stand looking at.

 

The smell of smoke was infecting his nose, Steve most of been the source, he had stressed him out that much he’d started smoking. He willed him brain to supply words through his mouth, he wanted to say he was sorry. He was pretty sure he’d managed it when Steve paused and his eyes welled with tears.

 

Bloody hell, he must’ve fucked up if he was making Steve cry. The lips in front of him moved again, he was so angry he couldn’t hear that voice, couldn’t understand the pained expression on Steve’s face he must’ve made a noise, Steve’s lips froze and he pushed his forehead against Bucky’s. 

 

He no longer felt the pain in his body, too focussed on the man in front, he was worried, startled like a panicked animal. Bucky focussed really hard, frowning at the last movement Steve’s lips made.

 

Far? Fear? Fire?

 

Fire, there was a fire near by, Bucky wasn’t even sure where they were, the only things he knew for certain, he was very tired and Steve was in front of him. Perfect combo, snuggle in Steve’s arms and fall asleep. No, if there was a fire Steve needed to get out. Steve frowned in response to something he must’ve said, gripping his cheeks hard and giving him a kiss.  
Words filtered through his messed up head, “no, not without you.”  
__________________________________________________________________________________

Steve watched the mad panic, people trampling over each other to avoid where the flames were sure to break through. Men were attempting to scale the walls, others were shoulder barging the huge steel doors. It wasn’t unified and wasn’t enough to break the doors.

 

He cupped Bucky’s face, “I need to find us a way out.”  
Bucky blinked, rubbing the side of his face into Steve’s palm.  
“Go be a hero Steve.”  
Steve leaned in fast, sealing their lips together before clambering out.

 

He pushed himself through the fear struck masses, men were still unsuccessful trying to break the door. Sam was at his back.  
Rumlow was there, barking orders and shoving men to the floor. Steve gripped his arm.  
“That’s not helping.”  
Fire crackled from the changing rooms, flames licked up the doors.  
“You got a better idea?”  
Steve nodded, “we need to ram it.”  
“That’s what we’ve been doing.”  
The smoke was thickening, enough to scorch eyeballs. “the benches.”

 

Steve burst into a coughing fit, smacking his chest to hurry it up. Rumlow turned away with a sneer but Steve wasn't letting up, “ram the door with the benches.”  
He pointed at them, before selecting three of the Rumlows henchmen and ordering them to pick it up. They rushed at it, happy to take orders in their desire to live. Rumlow blinked a few times before bowing his head and doing what Steve had told him.  
Steve pointed at a few of Bucky’s supporters, telling them to get the other bench. Steve took the front, Sam right behind him.  
They had two benches, four men to each, running at the door with force, they hit the door one after another, denting the metal but not breaking it enough to get everyone out.

 

They were becoming sluggish, coughing and spluttering, struggling to see.  
“Together.” He wheezed to Rumlow.  
They ran, both benches at the door with a growl and roar, striking it with enough force to snap the hinges off the walls, part of the brickwork either side crumpled.

 

Steve was gulping at fresh air, seas of people were running out in relief. His shoulder ached, chest burned as he panted on his knees. His eyes were streaming and he was sure he was going to be sick.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

There was a vibrating in his chest, every few seconds, then a really powerful jolt and then nothing.  
Bucky was absolutely certain Steve would come back, he would tell him off for putting himself in danger but Steve was a good guy and too stubborn for his own good. 

Yes, Steve would certainly come back and cup his face, and let him fall asleep curled around him. Bucky was still perched up, staring into the distance, he watched as orange consumed the room, hot orange branching out to the roof. It was mesmerising, beautiful as it danced its path. He wondered what Steve’s favourite colour was. Bucky’s favourite color was fast becoming this, it really was devastating in its beauty. If only Steve would hurry up and come back so he could show him.

________________________________________________________________________________

 

The sound behind him was terrifying, the change of air in the room had pulled the fire in further, allowing it to climb the stalls. He blinked at the sight of orange engulfing the room.  
Sam was with him, patting his shoulder.

“Bucky?”  
Sam waved his hand, “he must be with Nat.”  
Steve jumped back to his feet, scanning the people littered on the floor. He saw her red hair, staggered over to her expecting Bucky to be by her side. 

 

His heart stopped and he swayed on his feet. A despairing sound escaped his throat and he twisted back to face the gym.  
He grappled with Sam who was trying his best to contain him. It wasn’t possible, he couldn’t fail Bucky, even the thought of it was ice through his heart. He stumbled towards the gaping hole in the wall, giving Sam one final dislodging push.

 

The heat was phenomenal, he covered his mouth with his arm, not wanting to scorch his already dry throat. Chairs littered the floor, he shoved at them, climbed over them to get to the middle.

 

The back stalls were on fire, Bucky was a silhouette against it, still slumped in the corner where he fell. He wasn’t moving, made no move to escape the fire that was intent on killing him.

 

He didn’t waste energy calling out, he continued to stumble his way over feeling more and more drained.  
He got to the edge, reached his arms under the ropes and tugged Bucky’s arm. The man slopped over, falling to his side with a thud.  
Steve clawed at his body, trying to get his hands under the brunettes armpits to pull him free. He growled as he did, roared to rival the cracking of fire.

 

Bucky dropped down, Steve collapsed to the floor, lying on his back with Bucky on top of him. He panted, shorts corrupted breaths. Smoke was blackening the roof, fire had spread to the ring, the ropes went up with ease.  
Steve stayed on the floor, last bit of effort was spent tugging Bucky up to his shoulder, the brunettes head was resting on his chest. He tilted Bucky’s face up, able to see it one last time. Then darkness came for both of them.

_________________________________________________________________________________

 

Steve blinked several times, taking in his surroundings, a white squared ceiling, blue curtains running from the sky down.  
He swiped at his face, feeling a pitching tightness, an oxygen mask. He yanked it off, gasping at the less than satisfying air.  
Sam’s was there, putting the mask back in place, holding it steady.  
“Leave it on, for a bit longer.”  
He tried to breathe out Bucky’s name, needing to know where he is and if he alright. A wave of tiredness swept over him and the cushion crinkled around his ears as he fell back into sleep.

-________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

The next time he woke he sat bolt up right, yanking the mask off and letting out a volley of coughing.  
“Easy man.”  
Sam is there, steadying his shoulders as he released the burning dry splutters.  
“Bu-Buci-Buck?”  
Sam eased him back down to the bed with a smile that made Steve crumble and whimper.

 

“He’s here Steve, they have him sedated for now.”  
“I want to see him.”  
Sam patted his arm, its was suppose to be reassuring, but he hated it.

 

“Soon, when you feeling up for it.”  
“What were his injuries?”  
Sam sighed back into his chair, “broken ribs, his left arm was shattered, punctured lung, smoke insulation.”  
“Brain injuries? Concussion?”  
Sam scratched at his head, “Brain looks fine on the scan, no bleeds or pressure. Concussion is probable, but we’ve not tried to wake him yet, he’s been put in an induced coma.”

 

Steve nodded slowly, eyes beginning to burn, his despair was stopped by another bout of coughing.

____________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bucky looked broken, tubes and bandages everywhere, Steve slumped down into the chair beside the bed, trying his hardest not to cough. He didn’t want to wake him, then he giggled at his own stupidness, Bucky was induced, no noise could possibly wake him. He sobbed, body and mind constantly caught between needing to cough and wanting to cry.

 

A nurse hovered at the end of his bed, she paced, looked at the monitor attached to Bucky, Steve could swear she was sniffling...  
“Nat?”  
The woman froze, drawing her sad eyes up from the floor.  
“They wouldn’t let me see him.”  
She made her way round the bed, stopping beside Bucky to grip his hand.  
“You went back in to save him.”  
It wasn’t a question, just a statement, but her pink lips tilted up into a smile.  
“Yeah, didn’t quite manage it though did I.”  
He frowned at himself, suddenly realising he had no idea how he managed to get out. Nat understood his frown.  
“The hulk saw you go back inside for him, he followed you.”  
The last thing Steve remembered before passing out was the feeling of wind rushing beneath him.  
“He came out with one of you on each of his shoulders.”  
“Bloody hell, he is strong.”

 

She nodded with a sad pout and they both continued to watch the sleeping man in silence. His body running like a machine until his mind could return to it.

_________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

Bucky woke slowly, blinking the light in and working out his surroundings, his heart thundered to life and there was a beeping near his head that got faster and faster. Hospital, shit.

 

A piece of paper was held in front of his face, he squinted to read the fuzzy words.

 

Calm the fuck down.

 

That was the top line, followed by a list of bullet points.  
He scanned them all, drinking the information in so he understood what the fuck was going on. Steve was fine, Nat was fine. There had been a fire at the fight. Pierce had been responsible for it. He had been in hospital for four weeks, he must not try to move his left arm. He needed to keep calm and take it easy. Nothing that happened was his fault. He had been waking up more and more but couldn’t recall conversations. That explained the list, Nat hated repeating herself. The last line said ‘we love you very much’.

 

The paper was flashed away and Nat stood behind it with a smile tugging her lips. He went to speak, but she placed her index finger on her lips flicking her head to direct Bucky’s gaze.

 

Steve was slumped in the chair, hair dishevelled, small hairs lining his jaw. He looked completely shattered, but still tear making adorable. Buck sipped on the drink Nat offered, giving her a grateful smile.  
Nat scribbled on a piece of paper and held it up. 

 

‘He doesn’t sleep much, don’t want to wake him.’  
Bucky nodded, smiling fondly at the man at his bedside. Bucky was careful to move his right hand, holding it out for the pen and pad of paper.

 

‘Are you ok?’  
Nat flashed up the original piece of paper in annoyance. He tried again.  
‘Pierce?’  
She chewed the end of the pen before scribbling, ‘the Rumlow’s sorted it.’  
Bucky frowned until Nat did a throat slitting motion. Well at least one positive thing came out of them almost dying...  
‘They weren’t too happy he tried to burn them alive.’

 

Bucky swallowed hard before writing ‘sorry’ in capital letters.  
She rolled the original list up into a tube and smacked him on the head.  
The curtain creaked open and both Nat and Bucky put an index finger on their lips. Sam nodded walking into the room, giving Steve a pitiful glance.

 

Nat threw him a pen, and he jotted something down on his clipboard turning it around for Bucky to see.  
‘You feeling ok?’  
He nodded in response.  
‘No pain in your chest? Dizziness? Double vision.’

 

There was an ache in his ribs but that had been present for weeks, his vision and head felt normal, he shook his head.  
Sam’s face scrunched up, and he flicked through the notes at the end of the bed. Nat took the injured mans hand which was more unnerving than anything.  
He gripped his own pen writing ‘what is it?’ and holding it up for Sam.  
‘Brain scans’ Sam wrote back.  
Bucky swallowed, his gut was falling to his feet, insides full of bees buzzing.  
‘What about them?’  
Sam stared at him for a few seconds before scribbling with a frown on his face. He checked over what he had written before turning it around.  
‘Brains abnormally tiny’

 

Nat burst out laughing, trying to muffle her giggle with her palm and failing miserable, Sam’s booming laugh took over and then Bucky couldn’t help but join in.  
Steve startled in the chair throwing himself forward towards the rail of the bed. He scanned the three laughing people warily. They had all gone crazy.

 

Bucky moved his hand and Steve immediately laced their fingers together.  
“Hey.”  
“Hey yourself, how you feeling?”  
“Feel ok, just tired.”  
He glanced down to the drip in his arm and Steve tensed, “I’m not taking out this time.”  
Bucky blinked at him before nodding.  
Nat excused herself and Sam told them he would be back shortly.

 

“I’m so sorry Steve.”  
Steve poked him in the shoulder lightly, “did you not read Nat’s list, it wasn’t your fault.”  
“You were there for me, you could’ve all died and it would’ve been my-”  
“Pierce, it would’ve been Pierce’s not yours.”  
“But it-“  
Steve stopped him with a firm kiss on the mouth and Bucky sighed into it. They pulled apart with Steve’s hand staying on his cheek, brushing over the stubble of his jaw.  
“Oh god I’ve got a beard.”  
Steve smirked, “wouldn’t call it a beard, too patchy for a proper beard.”  
“Well fuck you Dr Rogers.”  
The blonde laughed but continued to stroke the side of the brunettes face. It was incredibly soppy but Bucky loved the feeling.  
“So what do we do now?”  
Steve pursed his lips, “well, they will discharge you home in a few days to recover.”  
“Home as in my bedsit or?”  
“As in OUR home, in my apartment.”

 

A lightness expanded in Bucky’s chest and he reached up to cup the hand on his face and hold it there.  
“Thank you.”  
“There will be some changes though.”  
Bucky nodded, he thought they might have some trust obstacles after keeping the fight secret from Steve-  
“You’re sleeping in my bed from now on, not in the spare room.”  
The brunette grinned cheekily turning his face to give Steve’s palm a slow kiss.  
“There’s a ban on sex till you’re better.”

 

Bucky kissed the top of Steve’s thumb, taking the tip in his mouth and swiping it with his tongue.  
“Let’s see how long that lasts” he purred as Steve was overcome by a red blush.  
“I mean it Buck.”  
“Okay, Okay, what else?”  
“Tina’s given you two months off.”  
Bucky nodded, that was generous of her, Steve’s demeanour changed at the mention of her name though.

 

“What is it?”  
Steve scratched the back of his neck, “it would be easier if you worked at the other one, the one where I use to see you every day.”  
Bucky nodded there was no reason why he couldn’t switch back to that one, he was more familiar with the customers anyway.

 

“Okay done, can I make a rule.”  
Steve paused for a moment before leaning in with a nod.  
“No more throwing away my coffee every morning.”  
Steve recoiled, face flaming and mouth gaping for something to say.  
“Really is a waste of coffee and your money...”  
Steve still couldn’t get any words out, too humiliated at his little secret being exposed. Bucky chuckled at his flushing face.  
“I- I didn’t-“  
The blonde gave up speaking and covered his face with his hands.  
“You don’t have to waste money every morning to see me, I’m not going anywhere.”  
“No you’re not.”

 

Steve leaned in for another kiss, soft caresses of lips and tongue. He moved his hand to Bucky’s, knotting their fingers together like links in a chain, unbreakable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed reading as much as I did writing.  
> Much love for those that did :)
> 
> Come say hey.  
> [tumblr](http://cookie-book-took.tumblr.com)


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